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*picks a random movie from what's popular on letterboxd this week*

#262, or #912, 2014's "Whiplash," which I think: Is about drums.

You know, I think when you ask dice or coins or other random numbers to make decisions for you, you gotta listen to 'em even if you don't like the decision, or what's the point.


#263, or #913, 1994's "Pulp Fiction."

I should watch something better than yesterday, #264, or #914, 1994's (unreleased) "The Fantastic Four."

I guess this is all I'm doing today, #265, or #915, 1997's "Titanic."

Should watch this before the new season starts, #266, or #916, 2022's "The Bob's Burgers Movie."

#267, or #917, 2022's "The Immaculate Room," which I assume is about a room that's not maculate.

Movie! #268, or #918, 2011's "Source Code" in which I think Jake Gyllenhaal hacks the computers.

Me watching the next thing on my horror list is entirely dependent on one (1) person in Atlanta, Georgia actually turning the device they seed from on every now and then, so instead, 1920 silent German picture "Der Golem, wie er in die Welt kam," or "The Golem: How He Came Into The World," or, simply, "The Golem."

#269, or #919.

The Download from Atlanta is still in progress, so instead, 2009's "Orphan." #270, or #920.

The Download from Atlanta has stalled, so instead, 2007 CCTV compilation, "Paranormal Activity." #271, or #921.

The Download from Atlanta has never been this close and never been this slow, so instead, 1984's "Night of the Comet." #272, or #922.

#273, or #923, my team of expert advisors (friend Adder from twitter) have told me not to watch this one at night, and it's the middle of the afternoon, so let's go, 2008's "Lake Mungo."

The Download from Atlanta is dead. Long live the Download from Atlanta. The Download from Atlanta has finished. Long live the Download from Atlanta.

#274, or #924, the theatrical cut of 1978's "Dawn of the Dead."

#275, or #925, 2019's "Ma."

One imagines this one's about: A ma of some kind.

Leaving now for a 40th anniversary screening of 1982's "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial." #277, or #927.

#278, or #928, I didn't even know this one existed, it's a TV movie spinoff to the "Psycho" movies, no direct relation to the later TV show, 1987's "Bates Motel."

#279, or #929, it's the end (of this particular series) but the moment... will be revenged? Look, in the water, it's 1987's "Jaws: The Revenge"!

I forgot about movies, so I'm watching the shortest thing I could quickly find that still meets the Academy's definition of a feature film, 1917 silent Swedish picture "Terje Vigen," or, "A Man There Was." #280, or #930.

#281, or #931, leaving now to go see 2022's "Fall," which I've now called "Free Solo 2: Free Duo" to three different people, none of who got it.

#282, or #932, the great-grandpappy of the top ten clickbait video, 1999's "10 Things I Hate About You." You'll never believe number nine.

Leaving now to go see a movie that the trailer made look genuinely buckwild before I realised it was a prequel, #283, or #933, 2022's "Orphan: First Kill."

I sat down and watched #284, or #934, 1928 silent French picture "La petite marchande d'allumettes," or "The Little Match Girl."

#285, or #935, I threw my back out again, saw my GP about it this morning, that's all I'm doing today, so while I wait for my prescription painkiller to kick in, let's watch 2022's "DC League of Super Pets," a movie for babies.

#286, or #936, this looks like it's "what if Orphan was about a middle-aged man," it's 1987's "The Stepfather."

#287, or #937, probably fine to watch this even though I'm kinda sleepy, 2022's "Pinocchio."

> that doesn't narrow it down

the Disney one

Leaving now to go see 2022's "Bodies Bodies Bodies." #288, or #938.

#289, or #939, 2004's "Ocean's Twelve."

I think in this one they pretend to be in Amsterdam while actually being in Haarlem or Den Haag for half the Amsterdam scenes.

You're Robert Downey Jr. You've just had maybe the most successful comeback Hollywood has ever seen. You can do pretty much whatever movie you want.

#290, or #940. 2014's "The Judge."

*throws a dart at the pile*

If ghosts are so good why didn't they make a-- Oh, they did, it's #291, or #941, 2010's "Paranormal Activity 2."

#292, or #942, leaving now to go see 2022 Korean detective picture "헤어질 결심," or, "Decision to Leave."

#293, or #943, step one to watching all the James Camerons is watching not a James Cameron, 1978's "Piranha."

Which I assume is not about sharks.

#294, or #944, yeah, sure, I'll watch Veronica from Riverdale and Robin from Stranger Things do revenge, it's, 2022's "Do Revenge."

If you're outside my house right now, you can see how *I* run-- walk-- well, saunter, I've got time, because I'm leaving now to go see, 2022's "See How They Run."

#295, or #945.

Extremely charmed by this. Just a light murder romp that thinks it's slightly cleverer than it actually is, lots of laughs, a fun cast in interesting spaces, just a Great Time At The Movies.

#296, or #946, this has been sitting on my hard drive for like three years even though it's in the public domain and I could-a just re-grabbed it from Wikipedia or whatever at any time, it's 1945's "Detour."

#297, or #947, having read maybe only 20 volumes years ago but I'm sure I'll figure it out, leaving now to go see 2022's "One Piece Film: Red."

#298, or #945, say, these titles are just doing the Twilight thing, it's 1985's "Day of the Dead."


#299, or #949, leaving now to go see 2022's "Don't Worry Darling," which I was gonna go see pre-drama, anyway, but which I'm now also seeing because drama, yes.

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), no spoilers 

Another thing it obviously is is, a story you've seen before. If you watched the trailer and went, I wonder if they're doing this or that, odds are you're right, they're doing this, that, and there's some of the other thing in there, too.

But does that mean it's a bad movie? No, it's great, it's well-made, well-constructed, Florence Pugh is an incredible performer, I gasped, I laughed, I would've been on the edge of my seat if my knees still did that.

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), no spoilers 

(Other actors leave a little something to be desired here and there.)

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), no spoilers 

It's great! It is, if you will, "a real, like, you know, go-to-the-theater-film movie."

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), no spoilers 

I do now however once again believe Harry Styles did actually do a spit on Chris Pine at Venice.

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), re: 600 people 

I forgot the 22nd and 23rd are discount ticket days now, and I'll take that into account in the future and/or forget about it again and end up seeing The Fabelmans or Black Adam with half the goddamn city.

🏜️ "Don't Worry Darling" (2022), re: 600 people 

Seeing anything with 600 people is an /experience/, though, obviously, plague shit aside, again, I was masked the whole time, obviously, holy shit, I love the fuckin movies, I love going to movie church.

#300! (or #950.) I'm not watching "300," I'm watching one about people who are much, much more savage -- American teenagers in the 90s. It's 1995's "Clueless."

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

"And in conclusion, may I please remind you, it does not say RSVP on the Statue of Liberty."

That's true, I don't think it does.

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

oh, it's 2022's Paul Rudd

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

what's this based on again

oh yeah, "Emma," I got there without looking it up

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

I would simply not meddle in the affairs of others, but they're also not making movies about me, so what do I know

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

Obviously this is terrific.

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

caught myself thinking "they should make one of these but focused on the real heroes -- the teachers" and once again the wind blows me away, aged crumbs and dust

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

"Christian had a thing for Tony Curtis,"

oh I see, she's confused the gay friend for a love interest

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

...that took me longer than it should have

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

"Oh my god... *I* love Josh."

setting aside the ex-step-incest part, it's Paul Rudd, I get it

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

you know, somehow, even though on paper they almost certainly all read awful, all of these teens are actually pretty likeable, much more human than they usually are, not just Mean Teens

💿 "Clueless" (1995) 

enjoyed that.

it's no She's All That, tho

#301, or #951, time for something topical, it's 1940 Best Picture nominee "The Great Dictator."

"This is a story of a period between two World Wars"

Oh, I think this is the first time -- as Best Picture films go -- I've really seen it identified as a second World War. Huh.

✈️ "The Great Dictator" (1940) 

I often find modern depictions of genuinely harmful political figures as bumblers and fools intolerably unpleasant, so I wonder if this, as it gets closer to the 1940 present day, will work for me.

✈️ "The Great Dictator" (1940) 

I dunno why anyone would vote for this Hitl-- Hynkel fellow.

💈 "The Great Dictator" (1940) 

Some good gags in here, but also, *sad sigh*

💈 "The Great Dictator" (1940) 

(I accidentally hit re-draft.)

💈 "The Great Dictator" (1940) 

*a second, sadder sigh*

#302, or #952, if activity 2 was so paranormal why didn't they make third-- What? They did?

2011's "Paranormal Activity 3."

I was expecting an anthology franchise, really, but I think this is Katie from the first movie again.

And now it's 1988, a time when they had a better home camera than in 2006.

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

The girl whose family is cursed has an imaginary friend, you say.

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

The filming in 1988 starts because of a birthday party, but now he's just filming himself walking around the house?

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

so they've got video proof of earthquake-caused house dust falling on and then off what appears to be an invisible human figure this early in the film

so naturally the girlfriend demands it gets deleted, because of course she does, sigh, sigh

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

"I mean, imagination is one thing, but--"

this small child havin' whole conversations with an invisible tall grandpa who says she ain't safe if she tells people her secrets, how are you not burning down the house

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

I would simply select flamethrower and use it on house

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

"We're gonna play Bloody Mary."

Absolutely not.

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

ghosts are a fake idea but also, just in case, ain't no good reason on this green earth to taunt 'em

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

oh what fresh sheet-based hell

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

has he stopped reviewing the tapes? at some point surely you /do/ something

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

the oscillating camera slaps, great way to do spookems, very weeping angel

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

point the fuckin camera at the corner the invisible grandpa is in, tho, like, it's in that corner very specifically all the time

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

incontrovertible video proof of Bloody Mary extremely working stuck in a missing box of VHS tapes in 2006

👻 "Paranormal Activity 3" (2011) 

"This is your fault. This is exactly what I was talking about. No more cameras. No more ghosts."


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#303, or #953, if normal activity 3 was so para, why didn't they make a fourth-- Oh, they did.

2012's "Paranormal Activity 4."

me, having figured out this is not an anthology franchise: hey it's the ending of the second one

they've finally jumped the shark, this one has ninjas in it

(the ninja is a kid in a halloween costume)

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

oh, right, it's 2011, computers have been invented

no reason for them to be recording this skype call tho

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

the thing about your parents operating a day care is you get very used to random lads just wandering into your house, your room, pretty much anywhere, so this barely registers as spooky or even weird

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

sometimes there's just a small boy in the kitchen for no previously announced reason, that's just how life be

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

"He was just standing in the kitchen!"

that's just how life be

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

"Ben! You recorded our video chats?"
"Yeah, my computer automatically records all of my webcam."

camera boyfriend, that's not a thing

👻 "Paranormal Activity 4" (2012) 

random lads wandering into my bedroom in the middle of the night distinctly not how life be

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