"It's probably a satellite."

*looks at the camera* uh-huh

I've seen basically this exact opening act twice just in the last year.

(2021's "Don't Look Up" and 2022's "Moonfall.")

"We know everything."
"Nobody knows everything."

everything? that's a name I haven't heard in a looong time... Bob Everything...

Nobody just gets unironically followed and intimidated by the... FBI? Secret Service? any more, it's always gotta be deconstructed now, or be funny, it's gotta have a hat on it

but getting followed and intimidated by men in black suits always looks pretty scary just on its own really

oh, that's a tiny baby Elijah Wood

this is all very optimistic about the American/Russian reaction to all this

"Sweet mother of god."

no that's the asteroid

looks nothing like a sweet mother

fuck me, I thought 1998's "Armageddon" was the drilling one, but they're drilling in this one, too?

me trying to spell "Deep Impact": deep implact

really puttin' the melo in the drama with this one

if this were me my planet would simply not get hit by the giant asteroid at all

being the third big rock movie I've seen in less than a year, boy, there sure is pretty much just the one recipe for this particular cake, huh

at least "Don't Look Up" had something to say, at least "Moonfall" was just wildly ridiculous

Considering how much I like a good airport/airplane movie, weird that I haven't seen this, really.

If I had a time machine I'd go run all the way to the gate in a pre-9/11 airport.

hard to livepost a real gag-centric comedy

but it's an incredible hit-rate of solid gags

Terrific, obviously.

And, like I said, tremendous hit-rate of gags, seven a second, if one doesn't land the next one will.

Leaving now for Sneak Preview. #180, or #830.

I have reasons to rule out all my guesses -- "Men," too horror, "Jurassic World 3," too sequel, "Memory," already the Unlimited Night screening -- so, no idea, we'll see!

As an enthusiastic pirate with little to no regard for the borders of international cinematic release markets, this was bound to happen eventually:

It was 2021's "Boiling Point," which I watched at home two months ago.

Wouldn't necessarily have put it on again, but you know, still a strong picture, still a good one-shotter set in a restaurant, interesting to revisit it knowing ahead of time what the actual scale of it is.

Still think the ending kinda sucks, but I get it, not really a good, natural cut-off point at minute 90 in a restaurant kitchen.

Sneak Preview walkout count: THIRTEEN WALKOUTS.

Which, why even go to Sneak Preview if you can't handle 2021's "Boiling Point," 2021's "Boiling Point" is the DREAM of Sneak Preview! If I hadn't seen it before I would-a been DELIGHTED!

Leaving now for a Pride Night screening of 2021's "Swan Song." #181, or #831.

(I see a screening for something gay, I go see something gay, this is very simple.)

Lovely gay picture, sometimes what you need at the end of the day is to watch a camp, retired hairdresser get called up for One Last Job and for that hairdresser to go rogue.

#182, or #832, let's watch something else gay, 1999's "But I'm a Cheerleader."

Oh, Natasha Lyonne just always sounded like that.

"I myself was once a gay."

I was a gay once, and twice, I was a gay several times, so I figured, you know, I might as well stick with it.

haha these are the gayest goddamn "heterosexuals" I've ever seen

"I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual! I'm a homosexual!"

good news!

this is terrific

terrific conversion therapy satire, obviously, also very sweet

it's the costuming that really nails it, loud blues and pinks, but still getting it wrong, great stuff

I appear to have recovered from 4 x 10 minutes of light exercise earlier today, so leaving now to go see 2022's "Jurassic World: Dominion." #183, or #833.

@Alexis He probably still uses his hands to shoot in arcade games.

@kurt No, I think that's 1998's "Armageddon."

Damn, same year.

@Alexis trust me; they do not care at all if a white person is running in an airport

@The_T well no, but there's all that pesky security in the middle now

at Schiphol you can just about run from the front door to maybe 10% of the way to a gate.

@Alexis hmm; my memory of the last few times I've flied, there's a large section before the gates where you can do whatever you want, then between that area and the gates area is security. but I usually don't remember the security process being terribly long, or even terribly different from when I was a kid (removing shoes and belt being the only difference).

And one of these flights was from NYC as well! Granted it was early morning, so maybe just not as busy then... idk.

@The_T At Schiphol it's the Plaza, which is an mid-size shopping mall (by Dutch mall size standards) and then you go upstairs and one way or another you're gonna have to prove you've got a ticket and are allowed to be on the other side of security

then it's endless people-movers, horizon to horizon, until you get to your gate

(I never did any flying before 9/11, mind.)

@Alexis in this instance (and instances like it), do you still watch it or did you head out?

@The_T I think there might genuinely be no instance where I walk out.

Unlike THIRTEEN PEOPLE.

@Alexis that's fair, I've heard of some of the worse movies you end up watching...

@The_T It would have to be, like, something I'd seen before, that was ALSO just aggressively shit or passionately bigoted, maybe?

And, I mean, the actual real bigot stuff doesn't tend to make it to the release calendar here to begin with.

@The_T Actually, you know what, thought of one I'd walk out of if it showed up at Sneak Preview, I don't think it ever got a wide release here:

Dear Evan Hansen.

...Actually. ...No, the audience reaction might be worth it?

I may never walk out.

@Alexis yeah, if I was in that position I'd probably watch that one too. For the morbid curiosity.

@The_T God, no, I've seen it, it's actually. It's really, very, very much /not/ so bad it's worth it, it's not 2019's "Cats," there's no joy in it whatsoever, it's just deeply miserable.

@Alexis I think cats creeps me out way too much for me to ever watch it; at least dear even hansen seems vaguely relatable in that I still understand what the media version of a high school is. and I've seen plenty of terrible musicals because my ex used to be a performer in theater.

shrug my standards are complicated.

@The_T I think "Dear Evan Hansen"'s biggest problem is, the story doesn't work on screen -- it's much easier to buy into the big emotions of it all when you have the distance of it being on stage, while on film you think about the story too much.

While the point of "Cats" isn't big emotions, it's fun songs and watching dancers pretend to be cats -- the odd CGI of it gives you a more stage-like distance, allowing it to just deliver on the song and dance.

@Alexis So they don't like Anime and they don't like cooking movies, if Flavors of Youth had ever been one of the movies the cinema would be empty.

@kurt What the people want is dogshit action movies, I think. Only a few walkouts at "Primal," "The Courier."

I'd love to get up at the end of Sneak Preview and realise it had just been me in there for the last hour or so. Sneak Preview just for me!

@Alexis Sneak Meview.

@Alexis oh, I watched this movie when I was like, 15 or 16. Definitely a moment of "I don't know what I am yet but I wish I was a lesbian".

Good movie.

@The_T I had that moment a lot at that age, too.

Mostly from that one episode of "Friends" where Joey says he wishes he was a lesbian, which, you know, took me a while to figure out the actual joke, when, like, who wouldn't wanna be a lesbian.

@Alexis A favorite of Jalan's, who grew up in that culture.

@naga I can't imagine just being in that culture at all times. But great movie!

@Alexis the oppressive parents' culture, to be clear.

But she's recovered nicely!