this guy is very efficient, must have lots of prep done so he can get these bodies where he wants them almost immediately

Oh, it's Matthew Lillard. One of those actors it's always nice to see.

"The question isn't, who am I, the question is, where am I."

I'm pretty sure the identity of the serial killer is a primary thing in these, get with the program, serial killer.

"He's gone... He's gone..."

okay, so, weird way to behave if he's not the killer, but also, how'd he get there so quickly, there's clearly two of them, Billy and ?????

"What are you doing with a cellular telephone, son?"

what kind of teenager needs a /cellular/ telephone, huh, you tell me that

"We're checking every cellular account in the county."

1996, man

*looks at all the dudes in this movie* you know, Matthew Lillard and the killer're both about a head taller than Sidney

"Then why'd the cops let him go?"
"They don't watch enough horror movies, man!"

eyeroll, but also, fair

Matthew Lillard really creeping me out in the video store, I'm committing to my guess of it's Billy and Stu.

this thinks it's genre savvy but /i'm/ from the /future/

"The calls are listed to Sidney's father."

you WOULDN'T steal a PHONE

wildcard guess, it's Gale Weathers and Kenny the camera operator

I've really locked onto there definitely being two of them, which, I mean, if there's not, double the odds that I was right, I guess

god damn

in the garage door cat flap

okay, so unless I'm being tricked here -- a lot of the stabbing shot from behind there -- B̶i̶l̶l̶y̶

i've been TRICKED

somehow I fall for a fake killing off of my prime suspect every time

gonna take a light guess here and say Matthew Lillard may not be in any of the sequels

"Not in my movie."

hell yeah

you know what, considering this is just the 90s going "they don't make'm like they used to, let's make one like they used to but for today," this was pretty good

These people are seeing a movie called "Stab" that looks like it's about a serial killer who wears a ghostly screaming face mask.

Very relatable.

"Based on the book 'The Woodsboro Murders' by GALE WEATHERS"

damnit gale weathers

an audience this rowdy would do me a right conniption, jeezus

It seems socially irresponsible to me to not just continue selling this mask but to provide it as a full costume for a screening of a horror movie based on a true story

"Cotton."
"Hi Sidney."

gale weathers can get in the bin

I'm pretty sure Courtney Cox is in the rest of the sequels or a Gale Weathers/Cotton Weary team-up would be top of my list of suspects

Sarah Michelle Gellar obviously not remotely believable as a vain serial killer victim.

the first one was all about the killers clearly setting down the rules before you knew they were the killers, and Jackie from Roseanne just laid down some rules

so

these movies: already some Dawson's Creek Casting going on, everyone at least 5 years older than they're playing

the movie in the movie: 40-year old teenagers

"Mrs Voorhees was a terrific serial killer!"

okay so

I reckon

Jackie from Roseanne is somebody's mom taking revenge

Billy's, Stu's, maybe Cotton Weary's

i mean I'm from the future but they do also tell you exactly what's happening

"Cassandra is one of the great tragic visionaries of literature. She saw it all coming."

extremely relatable

one of these Trojan masks looks enough like the Ghostface one that it's definitely gonna come up and get replaced with it at some point

there you go

"And Billy Loomis-- Billy Loomis! What the fuck!" [and then an insult that contains some homophobia but also he calls him a "mama's boy"]

got it, it's Mrs Loomis

never trust a Loomis

well, "Mrs Loomis," she said her name was Debbie Salt

never trust her, either

"I don't know about homicide, but you've definitely got me for raising my voice in a public library!"

this is the first arrest for this spree so they're trying to make me think he's the new Billy Loomis, but that's too obvious, red herring

#21, #671, 2000's "Scream 3." Might as well just go through these, I guess.

Every one of these murderers asks if you're seeing anyone right now with the exact vibe of a lightly inebriated uncle at a family gathering.

Sidney has very sensibly gone about half Laurie in Halloween '18, which should surely be more than enough to keep away a non-supernatural problem.

hold on, 1997's "Stab," as featured in 1997's "Scream 2," was based on 1996's "Scream," what the fuck is 2001's "Stab 3," as featured in 2000's "Scream 3" based on.

it's subtitled "Return to Woodsboro," but we're in Hollywood for this one, so presumably it's an original story

Or maybe "Stab 2" was an original story and this one is based on Gale Weathers' book about the events of "Scream 2."

gale weathers stop fucking writing books challenge 2k22

I don't know why I'm getting so hung up on the "Stab" franchise.

"Someone's killing them in the order they die in the movie."

they keep rewriting the movie, who would know the order, that narrows it down to writer, director, maybe one of the producers who wasn't into it in that first bit on set

"/I/ get killed in 'Stab 3'? /I/ get killed?"

i'm pretty sure Gale Weathers did not die in Gale Weathers' book about the events of 1997's "Scream 2."

"This is the scene where you come with us."

the first arrest in 2 was a red herring, so maybe the idea that the first arrest would be a red herring again is the REAL red herring this time

hm well I was suspecting the director but he's in custody right now, not particularly likely to be calling any victims, so who's the second one this time

could still be a writer or producer. the actress playing Sid, maybe?

"--whoever smells the gas."

lmao

well okay it's whoever just got shot a handful of times

"Maybe there is a third killer."

👀

"There's something you guys should see."

damn, Randy here to lay down the rules for a third movie, posthumously, somehow

thanks, VHS tape of Randy

"Hey, are you--"
"No."

hey, it's--

I miss Carrie Fisher.

this house is a fictional set based on what is in-fiction a real house that was in reality a fictional set