god I could go for a Cornetto

these flashbacks are making me regret having kids (i obviously do not have kids)

hate these teenagers also

never fucking having kids

you know what, i'm an adult, i'm gonna go get some Cornettos

you know, this one just kind of lined up this way

you can tell the devil is hard at work here because the city is upside down

that could also be doctor strange

i've never been stuck in an elevator, the closest i've got is i once used an elevator about 12 hours before somebody else got stuck it in it for about half an hour

video distortion? the devil is at work here

"Where I come from, they call it... the Devil's Meeting."
"Is this guy for real?"

yeah come on

that's ridiculous

just to file a guess:
* not the violent asshole guard or the scruffy veteran, too obvious
* not the dead mattress salesman, too dead
* the young woman is too obvious in the other way, she's so meek, But: Devil might cut themself, I guess.
* No real data on the old woman.

Current guess: I feel like I'm being lead to "it's the young woman," so I'm gonna say it's the old woman.

could be Dwight, Elevator Repairman but that feels like cheating

or rip Dwight, Elevator Repairman, I guess

rip to the old woman also

my guess shifts to the young woman I guess

"Kill him! Kill him before he kills us!"

okay now I definitely think it's her

hahaha

can't believe I was right all along, very dumb, enjoyed it a lot

it's not /good/, but did I enjoy it, yes

#17, or #667, the number of the neighbour of the Beast but just as evil, 2021's "Dear Evan Hansen."

I did also consider doing this one for #666.

still really funny how we all went "wait it's not gay???" and instead it's about like

a 37-year old high schooler stealing valour to make himself popular and getting away with it

boy you have to hope this large adult high schooler's singing voice works better on stage

"You fell out of a tree? What are you, five?"

cough

a lot of Big Wild Choices already stacking up here

hahaha this is very stupid

the decision not to tell the truth kinda works if he's an awkward 17-year old but it feels fucking batshit because he looks like a grown-ass large adult

while all the other teenagers are cast totally age-appropriately

like this dude could've played the principal

and now he's actively lying

this is illegal.

i'm kinda leaning into the obvious thing here but it really is so distracting

it's Jared Leto Mario-ing in House of Gucci weird. no, weirder

This is so gay and it's not even gay.

this should fall apart instantaneously because Evan Hansen doesn't actually know fuckin jack shit about the other kid, no internal anything, nothing about his life, nothing at all, all he can do is make up gaiden stories

> does it actually fall apart instantaneously, alex

it does not fall apart instantaneously

supporting cast actually pretty good when he's not around

you know

he doesn't look that weird in long shots

fuck me another close-up

now this awful man is

he's telling the dead kid's sister all the things *he* thinks are cute about her like they're things her brother said to him about her

mental

how does this make it to the page, the stage, the page again, the screen

this musical was workshopped for yEARS

i have to imagine this works okay on the stage somehow

#18, #668, we M Night Shyamalan ever onwards, it's 2010's "The Last Airbender."

what if the twist in this one is it's good actually

"This is probably some Fire Nation trick."

those famous Fire Nation tricks that involve large ice spheres

I watched the first few episodes of the cartoon like a decade ago, so obviously I recognise the broad strokes here

even i'm like, this all feels a bit pointless, tho

obviously i've also read the manga adaptation of this film

"With his mastery of the four elements, he will begin... to change hearts."

the last organbender

this is really just last decade's Netflix Cowbop Beboy

@Alexis Sa. Bo. Tage.

@Alexis The elevator one?

@kurt The elevator one.

@Alexis That's the benefit of the stage version, I suppose, all long shots.

@kurt Yeah, he could get on stage and do it tomorrow and that aspect of it at least would be totally fine.

Story still sucks eggs, though!

@Alexis This movie is just "The Gang Finds a Dead Guy"

@kurt A bit Weekend at Bernie's.

@Alexis Would you really notice if they swapped Evan Hansen out for Dennis Reynolds?

@kurt Season 1 Dennis might honestly be slightly less weird.

Season 15 Dennis, now you're doing a Wet Hot American Summer thing.

@Alexis The guy who plays Evan Hansen looks younger outside the movie than in the movie where they purposfully tried to make him look as young as possible and that is *with* a full beard.

@kurt The worst thing is he's Acting SO MUCH, it's all body language, trying SO HARD to make himself 10 years younger and ganglier, but instead he looks like he's 40 and recently lost quite a lot of weight and muscle mass from a bad health scare.

@Alexis It's a False Element operation, I heard all about it on InfoBenders.