, 2022 edition!

In 2020 I watched 239 movies.
In 2021 I watched another 391,
for a total of 650 movies since very early into first lockdown.

That's probably all the movies, right?

beepboop.one/@Alexis/105481230

Shoot, I found more movies.

Let's start with something just as topical as last year's first one, #1, or #651, 1973's "Soylent Green."

It's the year 2022...

#2, #652, we Cage ever onwards, it's 2009's "Knowing."

But do I Know what this is about? I've Know idea.

#3, #653, I gotta get back to these, it's 1938 Best Picture nominee "Four Daughters."

This is before the 80s, when Hollywood perfected the "two schmucks with a bad idea" formula, so they've overshot to "four daughters."

#4, #654, we Cage ever onwards, it's 2009's "The Bad Lieutenant - Port of Call: New Orleans."

An unwieldy title like that doesn't... traditionally... mean... good things.

#5, #655, we Cage ever onwards, with another one I'd never put on without a reason, but in a completely different way, it's 2009's "G-Force," about a team of highly trained guinea pig spies.

#6, #656, we Cage ever onwards with another celebrity voice cast children's cartoon, it's 2009's "Astro Boy," in which he voices... the professor?

#7, #657, we Cage ever onwards, with 2010's "Kick-Ass."

Saw it when it came out, but I can't imagine it's aged... particularly gracefully.

#8, #658, one of only two Taika Waititis I haven't seen, 2010's "Boy."

#9, #659, we Cage ever onwards, it's 2010's "The Sorcerer's Apprentice." Which you'd think would have Mickey Mouse in it, but it doesn't.

#10, #660, we Cage ever onwards with 2011's "Season of the Witch," which I'm pretty sure is about the Plague, no, not that one, the other one.

#11, #661, 2010's "MacGruber" because I wanna know if I should bother with that show they just dropped.

#11, #662, Netflix has been pushing me to watch whatever the fuck 1991's "Hudson Hawk" is, so whatever, let's watch whatever the fuck 1991's "Hudson Hawk" is.

Just found out there's a "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) and I have to know, I have to know how they get there!

#13 or #663.

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

This title sequence sure is implying that right after the first one they steal Bernie's corpse and go around the country with it.

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

Bernie Lomax's dead corpse status: In the NYC morgue.

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

"A hundred thousand for a voodoo queen, isn't that a bit excessive?"

oh no

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

what the fuck

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

two new schmucks are in the Virgin Islands to see a voodoo queen

about resurrecting Bernie Lomax

they're RESURRECTING HIM

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

the old schmucks are still around, they just got fired from the company they caught Bernie's fraud at

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

bernie lomax lives

Follow

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

well, lives, he's a voodoo zombie who walks in the general direction of where the money is hidden

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

the new schmucks have lost Bernie (they got on the subway, somebody stole the jukebox that was animating Bernie, they ran after the thief, forgetting Bernie, who was returned to the morgue)

the old schmucks have acquired Bernie (snuck into morgue, stole him)

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

I'd probably travel to an island to get Bernie's money out of a safe deposit box but I probably would not steal Bernie (a corpse) and take him on a plane so I could pretend he's alive to take the money out of the safe deposit box

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

Bernie Lomax moving on his own, fucked up if true.

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

"He's a great dancer!"

brenda he's dead

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

do love watching Bernie Lomax get absolutely bodied

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

Bernie Lomax dead corpse status: walking in a parade, attended to only by the two new schmucks, who've been transformed into goats

and that's where it ends

💀🌴 "Weekend at Bernie's II" (1993) 

how do you do a followup to a movie about two schmucks with a bad idea, simple, you introduce a second pair of schmucks and give both pairs different takes on the same bad idea

a golden age of film

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