Bernie Lomax's dead corpse status: In the NYC morgue.

"A hundred thousand for a voodoo queen, isn't that a bit excessive?"

oh no

what the fuck

two new schmucks are in the Virgin Islands to see a voodoo queen

about resurrecting Bernie Lomax

they're RESURRECTING HIM

the old schmucks are still around, they just got fired from the company they caught Bernie's fraud at

bernie lomax lives

well, lives, he's a voodoo zombie who walks in the general direction of where the money is hidden

the new schmucks have lost Bernie (they got on the subway, somebody stole the jukebox that was animating Bernie, they ran after the thief, forgetting Bernie, who was returned to the morgue)

the old schmucks have acquired Bernie (snuck into morgue, stole him)

I'd probably travel to an island to get Bernie's money out of a safe deposit box but I probably would not steal Bernie (a corpse) and take him on a plane so I could pretend he's alive to take the money out of the safe deposit box

Bernie Lomax moving on his own, fucked up if true.

"He's a great dancer!"

brenda he's dead

do love watching Bernie Lomax get absolutely bodied

Bernie Lomax dead corpse status: walking in a parade, attended to only by the two new schmucks, who've been transformed into goats

and that's where it ends

how do you do a followup to a movie about two schmucks with a bad idea, simple, you introduce a second pair of schmucks and give both pairs different takes on the same bad idea

a golden age of film

Well, that's a weird CGI Steve Carell.

I bet this is a Robert Zemeckis joint. *checks* It is!

Not even a weird CGI Steve Carell, a weird CGI stop-motion puppet Steve Carell. Weird choices.

boy the tone of this thing is all over the place

saw this is based on a real, sad events that really happened to a real guy, so obviously stopped with the snippier comments, but then I didn't really have anything to say

Steve Carell is good, tone kinda evens out a bit in

it's all just kind of sad

me: well i'm glad this story at least picks up years after the violent homophobic assault that--

zemeckis: no we gotta show the violent homophobic assault

*takes a few deep breaths*

not a big fan of this message that his medication was keeping him down, that's not great

I'm not doing anything else productive today, #15, or #665, 2021's "The Lost Daughter."

like, i'll watch Olivia Colman faff about dramatically on holiday, for sure

god I could go for a Cornetto

these flashbacks are making me regret having kids (i obviously do not have kids)

hate these teenagers also

never fucking having kids

you know what, i'm an adult, i'm gonna go get some Cornettos

#16, or #666, 2010's "Devil."

you know, this one just kind of lined up this way

you can tell the devil is hard at work here because the city is upside down

that could also be doctor strange

i've never been stuck in an elevator, the closest i've got is i once used an elevator about 12 hours before somebody else got stuck it in it for about half an hour

video distortion? the devil is at work here

"Where I come from, they call it... the Devil's Meeting."
"Is this guy for real?"

yeah come on

that's ridiculous

just to file a guess:
* not the violent asshole guard or the scruffy veteran, too obvious
* not the dead mattress salesman, too dead
* the young woman is too obvious in the other way, she's so meek, But: Devil might cut themself, I guess.
* No real data on the old woman.

Current guess: I feel like I'm being lead to "it's the young woman," so I'm gonna say it's the old woman.

could be Dwight, Elevator Repairman but that feels like cheating

or rip Dwight, Elevator Repairman, I guess

rip to the old woman also

my guess shifts to the young woman I guess

"Kill him! Kill him before he kills us!"

okay now I definitely think it's her

hahaha

can't believe I was right all along, very dumb, enjoyed it a lot

it's not /good/, but did I enjoy it, yes

#17, or #667, the number of the neighbour of the Beast but just as evil, 2021's "Dear Evan Hansen."

I did also consider doing this one for #666.

still really funny how we all went "wait it's not gay???" and instead it's about like

a 37-year old high schooler stealing valour to make himself popular and getting away with it

boy you have to hope this large adult high schooler's singing voice works better on stage

"You fell out of a tree? What are you, five?"

cough

a lot of Big Wild Choices already stacking up here

hahaha this is very stupid

the decision not to tell the truth kinda works if he's an awkward 17-year old but it feels fucking batshit because he looks like a grown-ass large adult

while all the other teenagers are cast totally age-appropriately

like this dude could've played the principal

and now he's actively lying

this is illegal.

i'm kinda leaning into the obvious thing here but it really is so distracting

it's Jared Leto Mario-ing in House of Gucci weird. no, weirder

This is so gay and it's not even gay.

this should fall apart instantaneously because Evan Hansen doesn't actually know fuckin jack shit about the other kid, no internal anything, nothing about his life, nothing at all, all he can do is make up gaiden stories

> does it actually fall apart instantaneously, alex

it does not fall apart instantaneously

@Alexis Sa. Bo. Tage.