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#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."

Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.

#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

#259, or #518, kicking off M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 with one he goes uncredited on but did contribute significantly to the script of, it's "She's All That."

I fucking hate this premise, but I think people like this movie? Cool cast, too.

If I recall correctly I described the first one as "a truly unhinged depiction of the human baby," it's #260, or #519, 2021's "The Boss Baby: Family Business."

People whose taste generally aligns with mine seem to like this one, so why not, it's #261, or #520, 2021's "Vacation Friends."

Leaving now to go see #262, or #521, 2021's second Marvel Studios picture, "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings."

#263, or #522, 2021 algorithm-generated Netflix movie "He's All That," which-- Yes, it looks insufferable, but I have to know.

#264, or #523, I should finish these before the school year starts, it's 2003's "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."

Leaving in a bit to go see #265, or #524 since I started counting, 1979's "Apocalypse Now." Or "Apocalypse in a bit," I guess.

I need to get back to these, cuz I keep saying, "well, you know, I'll get around to it eventually" about Best Picture nominated movies from the 70s and 80s when I've not even finished the 1930s.

#266, or #525, 1938's "Jezebel."

#267, or #526, 2015's "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."

All I remember ever thinking about this one at the time is "what, another spy movie?" but now I also think "I can't remember if that's the guy who's a cannibal."

#268, or #527, 2021 Netflix Original "Afterlife of the Party," which definitely feels like it exists only because the Algorithm stumbled onto the title.

#269, or #528, from the director of those Batman movies people largely dislike, 1999 Cage picture "8MM," which I think is about Cage as a detective investigating the veracity of a snuff film?

#270, or #529, leaving now to go see, because you know, why not, apparently I'll go see pretty much anything if it's a classic rerelease, 1989's "Driving Miss Daisy."

me: "I should reintroduce some randomness into what I watch, let's roll some dice."

the dice: "You're watching 2013 Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Google comedy "The Internship.""

me: "Curses."

(#271, or #530 since I started counting.)

#272, or #531 since I started counting, I'm about to get to a run of these where I've actually heard of a bunch of them, but not just yet, it's 1938 Best Picture nominee "Test Pilot," with Clark Gable, Myrna Loy, and Spencer Tracy.

Leaving in a bit for #274, or #533 since I started counting, I reserved for this one at a moment when I did not remember I had an 8.50am dentist appointment today, 2021 historical picture "Eiffel."

Leaving in a bit for #275, or #534 since I started counting, 2021's "Dune."

In the category of, people are talking about it, Alex is easily people-pressured, even though Alex is not a horror person much, #276, or #535, 2021's "Malignant."

M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 continues with a hard pivot from uncredited rewrites on a teen romcom to #278, or #537, "The Sixth Sense."

#279, or #538, we nineteen-ninety-nine ever onwards, it's 1999's "The Matrix."

#280, or #539, 1999's "Bringing Out the Dead."

I'm not a big Scorsese person -- none of what I've seen I've found particularly compelling, but I also haven't seen the big ones -- but it'll be interesting to see how he uses Cage.

#281, or #539, M Night Shyamalan's 1999 takes one last U-turn, because he's one of two credited writers on this one, it's 1999's "Stuart Little."

#282, or #541, leaving the last millennium behind, it's 2000's "Gone in Sixty Seconds," which I understand is about Cage having to steal 50 cars in one night to save his brother's life. Terrific.

#283, or #542, "Chris Pratt as Mario" and "RTD is back" have both happened since the last time I watched a movie, so let's do another emotional rollercoaster, it's 1997 robot anime recap movie "Neon Genesis Evangelion: Death."

#284, or #543, it's 2000's "Unbreakable."

Not sure what this one's about, I think it's M Night's comic book-y one? Presumably not ghosts again.

#285, or #544, it's 1997's "The End of Evangelion," which I reckon probably has more of the robot fights the preview for episode 25 promised, but which I reckon is probably also still Pretty Fucked Up.

You know how the vast majority of the Best Picture nominees are
movies global culture has seemingly totally forgotten about, and then every now and then there's one people still watch, like, and talk about?

#286, or #545, it's 1938's "The Adventures of Robin Hood."

I'm pretty sure the first time I booked a ticket for this one was before I was even counting movies. End of an odd, odd era, in a way.

Leaving now to go see #287, or #546, 2021's "No Time to Die."

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#288, or #547, Cage's career barrels ever forwards, it's 2000's "The Family Man," which I don't know anything about.

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> Opening scene: 1987. Despite his girlfriend pleading with him to stay, Cage flies to London to work there for a year, assuring her they'll have their perfect life together when he comes back.
> Cut to 13 years later, Cage is a lonely corporate a-hole.
> It's Christmas.

this is one where he gets to see the timeline where he did stay, isn't it

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

Cage goes to bed after stopping Don Cheadle shooting up a bodega, and wakes up in the timeline where he's married with kids, which,

waking up to kids bouncing on my bed is peak worst nightmare shit for me

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

oh Don Cheadle is an evil genie

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

or a Christmas ghost, I suppose

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

me, waking up in the timeline where I have two kids: "goddamnit. you couldn't have just shown me how much of a dickhead i've been to Tiny Tim. jesus christ with this."

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

Cage's completely exhausted weariness is very relatable.

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

*Richard Dawkins voice* "Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a great running-after-the-girl-through-the-airport scene, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste."

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Family Man" (2000) 

Doesn't really do anything new, but Cage and TΓ©a Leoni are obviously great, perfectly pleasant, if risk-free, take on the thing.

It's October, so I've just hit play on the first horror movie on Netflix that didn't look like like a sack of shit with a turd on top, it's #289, or #548, 2019's "Escape Room."

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

gotta take the pot out of the universe for it to boil, got it

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

if this were me I would simply not get tricked by a cube

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

to be fair, "you've been invited to come check out this escape room" is a good trick, and wouldn't set off my Uh Oh alarms

still might not go, mind

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

all of these people definitely know each other and/or have horrible secrets they're being hunted into killer escape rooms about

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

"Hitchhiking accident."

uh-huh, were you the hitchhiker or the person trying to murderstab the hitchhiker who got stabbed in the hand in the process

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

A ceiling broiler turned ceiling flamethrower? There's no way this escape room is OSHA compliant.

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

"You were right. This is real."

if you die in the escape room you die in real life

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

"It's loud! And it sucks!"
"Great, we're gonna die to elevator music!"

hey now
no shitting on "Downtown" in MY house

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

if somebody hand-designed an artisanal escape room around my specific anxieties to kill me I'd be very flattered and impressed and also die instantly

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

"We're sole survivors. We're a statistical improbability. And now they want to see who will be the luckiest among the lucky."

oh I see

what if probability research but too much

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

you know what, this is very stupid, and trying to be Cabin in the Woods too much, but I do reckon I'm enjoying it

🧩 "Escape Room" (2019) 

yeah that was a'right

Might as well plow on, #290, or #549, it's 2021's "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions."

hold on, this is almost just American Squid Game

i will not elaborate

no, that comparison doesn't quite work

i will again not elaborate

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I described the first one as "kinda stupid but I enjoyed it," or something to that effect, but that's kinda what all the horror movies I like are, so I need to find better ways of talking about horror movies, I reckon.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

me, every time these characters close a door: "they're already in the escape room"

me, when they open it again: "the next door for sure"

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

oh. ... nah this is going too fast, it's a dream

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"Looks like Minos went out of business."

or that's what they've dressed their building up as exactly like they did at the end of the last one, come on man

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

this subway station full of people

totally part of the escape room, I know it

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

no but the TRAIN IS

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"Looks like we're in an abandoned station."
"You're shitting, right?"

that's my secret cap
i'm always shitting

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I always go "at what point in the movie am I dead" and, look, what kills me here is the part where there's puzzles.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

Some real Gallifreyan Death Zone tower shit going on here.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

"You know, my dad found a silver dollar with one of those [metal detectors] once. It was worth a dollar."

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I feel like this one, uhh, enjoys showing you its young women characters suffering notably more than the first one did

though the first one also had fewer women in it

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

A good thing happening? A trick for sure.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

well okay the movie is over but i'm not convinced

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

I stand by my assessment of the first one.

#291, or #550, it's 2019's "Doctor Sleep," because sure, I'll watch Ewan McGregor pretend to be the kid from "The Shining," why not.

2019's "Doctor Sleep" be like: "hey remember The Shining? was that fucked up or what"

what if ghosts went to the cinema

would that be fucked up or what

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

"What the hell?"
"Dave..."
"Abracadabra."

oh you hate to see it

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

"Am I still human?"
"Do you care?"

oh HO

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

well this is all very upsetting

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

I dunno what I was expecting from "sequel to The Shining" but it wasn't this, really.

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

there's two movies here

there's the one about the orderly who hunts spooky serial killers,

and there's the one that's an indulgent Kubrick impression The Shining sequel

and it's being very gummy worms and hamburgers about it

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

just Lloyd the bartender

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

Rose the Hat might as well be Bob the Builder for how blatantly she's clearly not meant to be in The Shining, a movie the characters in this motion picture explicitly travel to

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

neither of those are a criticism, the movie very much finds that dissonance fascinating and gets a lot of tension from it

and I like when characters travel to other movies, like. can't wait to see Spider-Man visit 2016's "Doctor Strange."

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

"They're not special. They're /starving/."

oh

🎩 "Doctor Sleep" (2019) 

long live The Shining
The Shining must die
long live The Shining
The Shining is dead

I've put on Netflix's "Attack of the Hollywood ClichΓ©s!", which I've seen people call "a YouTube video," when actually, it's "I love the 90s"-style background noise TV at best. But it's an hour long one-off, so I'm counting it as a movie! #292, or #551.

#293, or #552, let's find out what Cage gets up to in whatever the fuck 2001's "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" is about.

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@Alexis Is the movie over or are the credits just part of the escape room? Maybe mastodon is the escape room?

🧩 "Escape Room: Tournament of Champions" (2021) 

@kurt I may never get out of my bathroom.

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@Alexis Is that one on Netflix? I didn't think the first one was that great and yet I did want to immediately watch the sequel they were dangling in front of you at the end, but it wasn't out yet.

@Alexis ah, I've heard a lot about Disney+'s Star Wars: The Mandolin

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