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#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

It continues to be Friday the 13th! And so does movie!

#244, or #503 since I started counting, straight on to 1982's "Friday the 13th Part III," also known as "Sunday the 15th."

#245, or #504 since I started counting, 1996's "The Rock," which does not have The Rock in it, but does have The Cage in it.

Let's fill in some Homestuck lore for myself with #246, or #505 since I started counting, 1997's "Con Air."

#247, or #506 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2020's "Druk," which in English is called "Another Round."

It's a movie about excessive alcohol consumption, which I don't typically care for, and I probably wouldn't just put it on at home without a reason? But if it's playing at the cinema...

#248, or #507 since I started counting, 1997's "Face/Off," in which Cage and Travolta... become deepfakes of each other? Something like that.

#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."

Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.

#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

#259, or #518, kicking off M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 with one he goes uncredited on but did contribute significantly to the script of, it's "She's All That."

I fucking hate this premise, but I think people like this movie? Cool cast, too.

If I recall correctly I described the first one as "a truly unhinged depiction of the human baby," it's #260, or #519, 2021's "The Boss Baby: Family Business."

People whose taste generally aligns with mine seem to like this one, so why not, it's #261, or #520, 2021's "Vacation Friends."

Leaving now to go see #262, or #521, 2021's second Marvel Studios picture, "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings."

#263, or #522, 2021 algorithm-generated Netflix movie "He's All That," which-- Yes, it looks insufferable, but I have to know.

#264, or #523, I should finish these before the school year starts, it's 2003's "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."

Leaving in a bit to go see #265, or #524 since I started counting, 1979's "Apocalypse Now." Or "Apocalypse in a bit," I guess.

I need to get back to these, cuz I keep saying, "well, you know, I'll get around to it eventually" about Best Picture nominated movies from the 70s and 80s when I've not even finished the 1930s.

#266, or #525, 1938's "Jezebel."

#267, or #526, 2015's "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."

All I remember ever thinking about this one at the time is "what, another spy movie?" but now I also think "I can't remember if that's the guy who's a cannibal."

#268, or #527, 2021 Netflix Original "Afterlife of the Party," which definitely feels like it exists only because the Algorithm stumbled onto the title.

#269, or #528, from the director of those Batman movies people largely dislike, 1999 Cage picture "8MM," which I think is about Cage as a detective investigating the veracity of a snuff film?

#270, or #529, leaving now to go see, because you know, why not, apparently I'll go see pretty much anything if it's a classic rerelease, 1989's "Driving Miss Daisy."

me: "I should reintroduce some randomness into what I watch, let's roll some dice."

the dice: "You're watching 2013 Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Google comedy "The Internship.""

me: "Curses."

(#271, or #530 since I started counting.)

#272, or #531 since I started counting, I'm about to get to a run of these where I've actually heard of a bunch of them, but not just yet, it's 1938 Best Picture nominee "Test Pilot," with Clark Gable, Myrna Loy, and Spencer Tracy.

Leaving in a bit for #274, or #533 since I started counting, I reserved for this one at a moment when I did not remember I had an 8.50am dentist appointment today, 2021 historical picture "Eiffel."

Leaving in a bit for #275, or #534 since I started counting, 2021's "Dune."

In the category of, people are talking about it, Alex is easily people-pressured, even though Alex is not a horror person much, #276, or #535, 2021's "Malignant."

M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 continues with a hard pivot from uncredited rewrites on a teen romcom to #278, or #537, "The Sixth Sense."


#279, or #538, we nineteen-ninety-nine ever onwards, it's 1999's "The Matrix."

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can't believe they cut Tweety's owner Granny out of this movie

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

"It just sounds to me like you need to unplug, man."

i'll say

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

you can tell Agent Smith is a baddie cuz he keeps deadnaming Neo

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

"Our way... or the highway."

no i think the highway is in one of the sequels

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

if you took a pill and touched a mirror and woke up bald in a goo tub would that be fucked up or what

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

"I know kung fu."
"Show me."

morpheus just wants to make sure the kung fu neo knows doesn't go to a different school. in canada.

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

"How did I beat you?"

morpheus you silly bitch he's been here for like a week

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

look, early 2000s internet memes, i don't know what to tell you, there really is no spoon

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

impossible to overstate how much this all just kicks a truly tremendous amount of ass

#280, or #539, 1999's "Bringing Out the Dead."

I'm not a big Scorsese person -- none of what I've seen I've found particularly compelling, but I also haven't seen the big ones -- but it'll be interesting to see how he uses Cage.

sometimes a movie is just good and I don't got anything to say

never seen a picture about a man this desperate not to do his job

πŸš‘ "Bringing Out the Dead" (1999) 

"You think just cuz you quit, them ghosts gonna quit too?!"

the real limbo is capitalism

#281, or #539, M Night Shyamalan's 1999 takes one last U-turn, because he's one of two credited writers on this one, it's 1999's "Stuart Little."

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

imagine being a mouse-sized mouse child, getting adopted, only to find out your new surname is gonna be Little

absolutely taking the piss

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 



🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

oh the cat is voiced by Nathan Lane

i reckon we've all met a cat or two who seemed like they ought-a be voiced by Nathan Lane

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

some real, uhhhh, microaggressions happening here

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

He's been here for days -- weeks? -- and they haven't shown him the basement full of buildings that're actually appropriately sized for him? These fuckin' people.

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

I feel like having a to-scale sailor operating your model ship in the model ship race is probably cheating. Air Bud-ing it, at the very least.

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

"But they've been gone for years!"


🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

to be fair to the Littles if a man-mouse and a woman-mouse showed up at my front door claiming to be my boy-mouse son's real parents, my whole life got implausible enough long enough ago that I'd just blindly accept it, too

🐭 "Stuart Little" (1999) 

uhhh enjoyed it, I guess?

but jeez, imagine being a human child at that orphanage and seeing the two adults walk out with the mouse, what the heck

#282, or #541, leaving the last millennium behind, it's 2000's "Gone in Sixty Seconds," which I understand is about Cage having to steal 50 cars in one night to save his brother's life. Terrific.

god this is so completely 2000

every single person in this movie could have a single-AA battery thumb drive mp3 player in their pocket

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

"Tell me about Kip."
"He took a job and he fumbled it."

so now we need you to take fifty cars and not fumble it

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

oh it's Christopher Eccleston

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

if this wasn't made in the year 2000 we'd have to invent the year 2000 for it to have been made in

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

"I didn't do it for the money. I did it for the cars."

bad reason for crimes tbh

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

whoever talked Angelina Jolie into these horrible dreadlocks can skip go and move straight to jail

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

would you believe that the plan to steal 50 cars in one night is already not going tremendously smoothly

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

this is better than I was expecting it to be

just a good, ridiculous action movie from before action movies got /really/ ridiculous

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

i love a good LA flood control chase

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

I also love seeing a cop car get rammed through a wall by a wrecking ball, top stuff.

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

Quite a lot of overlap in terms of themes and content with 2001's "The Fast and the Furious."


Gone in Sixty Seconds
Gone in 61 Seconds
Gone in Sixty Seconds: Tokyo Drift
Sixty Seconds: Gone
Seconds Five
Sixty Seconds 6
Gone 7
The Seconds of the Gone
Sixty Seconds Presents: Drycoff & Castlebeck

@Alexis well maybe what I'm saying is they should all be The Matrix

What I'm saying is you should do a Let's Play of Enter the Matrix and Path of Neo

mild spoilers to "The Matrix Online", an MMORPG that isn't playable anymore 

@Alexis unrelated but people were suggesting that the reason Morpheus isn't in (the trailers for) the new Matrix movie was because, canonically, he died in The Matrix Online, and they are using this as proof The Matrix Online is canon

re: mild spoilers to "The Matrix Online", an MMORPG that isn't playable anymore 

@The_T @Alexis i mean even at the time the idea was that it was the canon continuation of the trilogy

re: mild spoilers to "The Matrix Online", an MMORPG that isn't playable anymore 

@monorail @Alexis yeah totally but also whenever the film studio decides to continue a franchise, they never take the "canon continuation video game" into account

just look at Tron 2.0

re: mild spoilers to "The Matrix Online", an MMORPG that isn't playable anymore 

@monorail @The_T yeah, the intention was always that it was canon, though, you know how it goes with new movies suddenly happening

(I reckon Morpheus isn't in the new one on account Laurence Fishburne was just busy.)

re: πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

@Alexis look, mid 2010s internet memes, i don't really know what tell you but "red pill" doesn't mean what you think it means

re: πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

@The_T really hope the new one just goes out of its way to shit on those people, specifically

πŸ’Ύ "The Matrix" (1999) 

@Alexis I watched it for the first time the other day and *wow*

@kurt I was gonna say Cage just wants to be fired, wouldn't destroy a printer, but he's just crashed the ambulance, so.

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

@Alexis seriously

πŸš— "Gone in Sixty Seconds" (2000) 

@naga just absolutely terrible

she has good hair you can do anything you want with to make her look tough, but alas, it was the year 2000

@Alexis we still have ours, but last I tried they didn't work :(

@B I have mine here somewhere, but I haven't checked to see if it works in years.

@Alexis /smiles in bought an iPod classic dock this very year

@Alexis my dad had one! I... don't remember when I last saw it.

I had a Discman, though, and that was awesome too

@B @Alexis I bought a second hand walkman to listen to radio dramas on cassette.

@kurt @B People talk about the texture of vinyl, but you've not really listened to music until you've had your Discman bug out on you with every bump and hobble.

@Alexis @B You know, I think discmans were a real step backwards, yes it had quality, length and the fact you could more easily burn one yourself if you had a disk drive on its side, but they were very inconvenient and I think we'd have had physical media a little longer if they were better.

@kurt @B Almost every video game console also being a DVD player played a significant role in keeping DVDs around as long as they were, so you're probably onto something.

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