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#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

It continues to be Friday the 13th! And so does movie!

#244, or #503 since I started counting, straight on to 1982's "Friday the 13th Part III," also known as "Sunday the 15th."

#245, or #504 since I started counting, 1996's "The Rock," which does not have The Rock in it, but does have The Cage in it.

Let's fill in some Homestuck lore for myself with #246, or #505 since I started counting, 1997's "Con Air."

#247, or #506 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2020's "Druk," which in English is called "Another Round."

It's a movie about excessive alcohol consumption, which I don't typically care for, and I probably wouldn't just put it on at home without a reason? But if it's playing at the cinema...

#248, or #507 since I started counting, 1997's "Face/Off," in which Cage and Travolta... become deepfakes of each other? Something like that.

#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."

Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.

#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

#259, or #518, kicking off M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 with one he goes uncredited on but did contribute significantly to the script of, it's "She's All That."

I fucking hate this premise, but I think people like this movie? Cool cast, too.

If I recall correctly I described the first one as "a truly unhinged depiction of the human baby," it's #260, or #519, 2021's "The Boss Baby: Family Business."

People whose taste generally aligns with mine seem to like this one, so why not, it's #261, or #520, 2021's "Vacation Friends."

Leaving now to go see #262, or #521, 2021's second Marvel Studios picture, "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings."

#263, or #522, 2021 algorithm-generated Netflix movie "He's All That," which-- Yes, it looks insufferable, but I have to know.

#264, or #523, I should finish these before the school year starts, it's 2003's "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."

Leaving in a bit to go see #265, or #524 since I started counting, 1979's "Apocalypse Now." Or "Apocalypse in a bit," I guess.


I need to get back to these, cuz I keep saying, "well, you know, I'll get around to it eventually" about Best Picture nominated movies from the 70s and 80s when I've not even finished the 1930s.

#266, or #525, 1938's "Jezebel."

Not a title that inspires a great deal of enthusiasm, I must say.

reckon this is just prepping my patience for Gone with the Wind

#267, or #526, 2015's "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."

All I remember ever thinking about this one at the time is "what, another spy movie?" but now I also think "I can't remember if that's the guy who's a cannibal."

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

I don't trust this Henry Cavill character, he says "Nazi" weird

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

Don't think I've seen a car chase that synchronised before. *ticks the something-I-haven't-seen-before box*

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

"His name is Napoleon Solo."

he used to be called just Napoleon but then he went through an Empire checkpoint and didn't have a surname to give them

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

"I think you should look out the window."
"You can't be serious."

a jogger? at this time of day? ludicrous.

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

boy these two men sure do love to measure

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

"I wonder what they do to people /without/ invitations."


🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

"The thing is. I work better alone."
"I work better alone, too."

great y'all can work alone together

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

if one of these two goobers jumped off a bridge the other absolutely would, too

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

i said this before the bit where they both jumped out of the window

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

hate when a movie bad guy is just "a dude who fucking loves doin' torture"

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

it has only just now occurred to me that neither of these Man are from anything called U.N.C.L.E.

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

"Oh, and you have a new code name."

oh there you go

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

Classy, stylish, cool action bits, a neat car chase or two, what more could you want. The Twists do feel a bit silly, though.

#268, or #527, 2021 Netflix Original "Afterlife of the Party," which definitely feels like it exists only because the Algorithm stumbled onto the title.

the vibe here is, "American remake of a German movie adaptation of The Good Place."

👼🍸 "Afterlife of the Party" (2021) 

the redemption offered here really isn't as genuine as it needs to be when it's happening under constant threat of her being sent to the basement afterlife

👼🍸 "Afterlife of the Party" (2021) 

you better do your redemption arc, or else

👼🍸 "Afterlife of the Party" (2021) 

Eh. It sure was a movie.

#269, or #528, from the director of those Batman movies people largely dislike, 1999 Cage picture "8MM," which I think is about Cage as a detective investigating the veracity of a snuff film?

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

"Do you want to tell me what you found [in your dead husband's private safe], Mrs Christian?"

a full, pristine copy of The Day the Clown Cried

and she wants it destroyed immediately

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

is Joaquin Phoenix famous enough at this point that I can assume he's not just a rando but is in fact a major part of the story and probably involved in the case

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

being extremely online for two decades sure has warped my perspective on what is and isn't extreme pornography

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

or maybe this movie's picture of the most hardcore extreme shit out there is just pretty boring

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

a bad time at the movies

🎞️ "8MM" (1999) 

like it's not a badly made the-thing-it-is, it's pretty good at doing that thing, which I can't say for all the dreck I've watched, but it starts pretty miserable (fine) and gets more miserable from there (a bad time)

#270, or #529, leaving now to go see, because you know, why not, apparently I'll go see pretty much anything if it's a classic rerelease, 1989's "Driving Miss Daisy."

Shallowly pleasant and charming, and Morgan Freeman and Jessica Tandy are obviously terrific, but below that shallow surface, what does it actually have to say about its world or its characters? Even my kindest take would involve the words "white saviour."

me: "I should reintroduce some randomness into what I watch, let's roll some dice."

the dice: "You're watching 2013 Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson Google comedy "The Internship.""

me: "Curses."

(#271, or #530 since I started counting.)

This doesn't look like it's a sequel to "The Intern" but on a boat, but I'm already wishing it was.

watch 2013's "The Internship" if you ever want to see Vince Vaughn dramatically type "google" into Google

👴🧓 "The Internship" (2013) 

has anybody noticed Mr Vaughn and Mr Wilson are slightly older than this mass of 18-year old extras because it sure seems to be the one joke this motion picture has

👴🧓 "The Internship" (2013) 

this did not need a long Quidditch sequence in it for me to want to throw it into the sea and yet here we are

👴🧓 "The Internship" (2013) 

this is not very good

#272, or #531 since I started counting, I'm about to get to a run of these where I've actually heard of a bunch of them, but not just yet, it's 1938 Best Picture nominee "Test Pilot," with Clark Gable, Myrna Loy, and Spencer Tracy.

Oh, I see, this one's here because it does impressive plane stuff, like how one year there were like three that were nominated for doing impressive boat stuff.

I feel like we've done all the modes of transport, can't get a Best Picture nod just for being a tremendous train picture any more.

Trying to imagine a Best Picture-nominated Segway movie.

✈️ "Test Pilot" (1938) 

This is a perfectly competent romcom so far -- the titular Test Pilot (Clark Gable) has been forced to make an emergency landing in a field in Kansas, where he's met Myrna Loy, as you do.

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

@Alexis this movie came out in the same year as both a Bond movie and a Mission Impossible movie so a lot of people, including me, missed it, but I actually really like it

though I saw it before the whole 'cannibal' thing so maybe that would color my opinion now 🤷

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

@balrogboogie "Bridge of Spies," and "Spy," too. "Furious 7" was pretty spy-y, too. And yeah, it's good fun!

It's hard not to think about the cannibal thing, but still, I liked the movie.

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

@Alexis Tbh that was probably one of my favourite car chase scenes in anything I've watched

🕴️ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

@SigmaOne Ranks up there with some of the better (and goofier) Bond chases.

@Alexis Zack Snyder's 8mm? This is the weirdest Berenstain universe yet.

fictional violence 

@kurt Zack Snyder's 8MM, this time you can really see the knife go into the girl on account of it's happening in slow motion.

@kurt Between scenes, Morgan Freeman gets into car chases and illegal street races as he juggles his job as Miss Daisy's driver with his side hustle selling stolen radio sets.

@Alexis I mean to be fair, why was that film in the dice to begin with

@The_T The first roll was "Netflix, Disney+, or something I already have downloaded," the next roll was which of the top six rows on Netflix, and, uh, I /have/ watched, like, Kevin James movies, that kind of thing -- and "The Intern" -- on Netflix, so it's not /weird/ that it shows up in the fourth spot on the Netflix recommendation row.

@Alexis and to think, I don't even trust YouTube recommendations...

@The_T I mean, my top recs on Netflix right now are all movies I've seen, would probably like, or that I at least understand why they're there.

My top recs on YouTube are all LoadingReadyRun videos, travel videos, movie trailers, and, like, woodworking videos. And then when you scroll down there's a 15-minute lecture by a fascist, but that doesn't make the rest of the recs useless.

@Alexis I think the big problem with YouTube recs is it's all videos with thousands of views. I want to watch videos created by people like me.

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