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#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

It continues to be Friday the 13th! And so does movie!

#244, or #503 since I started counting, straight on to 1982's "Friday the 13th Part III," also known as "Sunday the 15th."

#245, or #504 since I started counting, 1996's "The Rock," which does not have The Rock in it, but does have The Cage in it.

Let's fill in some Homestuck lore for myself with #246, or #505 since I started counting, 1997's "Con Air."

#247, or #506 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2020's "Druk," which in English is called "Another Round."

It's a movie about excessive alcohol consumption, which I don't typically care for, and I probably wouldn't just put it on at home without a reason? But if it's playing at the cinema...

#248, or #507 since I started counting, 1997's "Face/Off," in which Cage and Travolta... become deepfakes of each other? Something like that.

#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."

Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.

#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

#259, or #518, kicking off M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 with one he goes uncredited on but did contribute significantly to the script of, it's "She's All That."

I fucking hate this premise, but I think people like this movie? Cool cast, too.

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If I recall correctly I described the first one as "a truly unhinged depiction of the human baby," it's #260, or #519, 2021's "The Boss Baby: Family Business."

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A 40-year timeskip is pretty wild for a movie about babies.

The first one wasn't set in the 80s, so technology in the world of the Boss Baby is completely stagnant.

... If anything, it's gone backwards, Tim has a flip phone.

πŸ‘” πŸ‘Ά "The Boss Baby: Family Business" (2021) 

Honestly some really funny animation in this.

πŸ‘” πŸ‘Ά "The Boss Baby: Family Business" (2021) 

A lot more Shawshank Redemption jokes than I was expecting.

πŸ‘” πŸ‘Ά "The Boss Baby: Family Business" (2021) 

somehow, an even more unhinged depiction of the human baby

People whose taste generally aligns with mine seem to like this one, so why not, it's #261, or #520, 2021's "Vacation Friends."

This is a hoot, and also, I would spontaneously develop the power to generate a portal to another universe to jump into before I'd spend thirty seconds in the same room as this John Cena character.

That was okay. The main joke of it gets kinda old, but it never outstays its welcome.

Leaving now to go see #262, or #521, 2021's second Marvel Studios picture, "Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings."

> that's pretty early in the day

I love a pre-lunch screening, I bring a sandwich, nobody's ever loud or annoying, it's great.

not to the bus, mind, if I were on that bus I'd want my money back

#263, or #522, 2021 algorithm-generated Netflix movie "He's All That," which-- Yes, it looks insufferable, but I have to know.

the added layer here is she's gone viral In The Bad Way and she's doing the premise because she reckons it'll get her the followers and sponsors she's lost back

at least the bet from the original is clean, kind of stupid, the motivation here is just influencer capitalism

πŸ“± "He's All That" (2021) 

the Freddie Prinze Jr character in the original was a dumb boy in the 90s doing dumb boy in the 90s shit who over the course of the picture is a pretty consistent, not-terrible dude when he's not letting worse boys drag him down with them

but the craven, desperate capitalism here -- "I want my sponsorship back," "how will I pay for college" -- corrupts totally any chance that I'll feel that way about this one 40 minutes from now

πŸ“± "He's All That" (2021) 

obviously the premise doesn't fly to begin with, and I think probably the way to do a She's All That/My Fair Lady thing in 2021 that's not totally suspect is to just not do it uncritically

you gotta show it as the gross, manipulative thing it is

πŸ“± "He's All That" (2021) 

outside of the capitalist stink on it, this really isn't any better or worse than the original, it's just that the 90s camp and cast is a lot more palatable to me than this cast of nobodies doing instagram nonsense

πŸ“± "He's All That" (2021) 

it's nice to get to see Matthew Lillard be a funny principal for a few scenes, I guess

#264, or #523, I should finish these before the school year starts, it's 2003's "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King."

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

if it were me i would simply neither kill nor be killed over a shiny trinket

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

i would simply not be hypnotised or enchanted by one of the most powerful objects in existence

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

obviously sam is the real hero of this story but merry and pippin are the ones keeping it realest

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

rip to Saruman but also why have such a sharp-ass fucking water wheel

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

is the wheel meant to be fighting the water, what is this

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

i mean what good is sleeping with your eyes open if people can still steal your magic bowling ball

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"Perhaps you have come to explain why my son is dead."

well sir twas Sean Bean what played him wasn't it

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"The king has got a crown again."

look mr frodo, nature is healing

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"Horse-Men. Hrmph."

they're a silly lot, Men

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"This is no place for a Hobbit!"

this isn't a place for most anyone, I reckon

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

Not a lot to say about long battle scenes.

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here..."

gandalf's like, there's like an hour and forty left of this motion picture, merry, my dude

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"Now come the days of the king."

oh that guy

guess he's returned

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

"My friends... you bow to no one."

;__;

πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

the end

worth it, but it'll be Un While before I go back for The Hobbit

Leaving in a bit to go see #265, or #524 since I started counting, 1979's "Apocalypse Now." Or "Apocalypse in a bit," I guess.

incredible picture

just the lighting elevates it to one of the best ever made, and then there's the rest of it

don't ever wanna see it again

I need to get back to these, cuz I keep saying, "well, you know, I'll get around to it eventually" about Best Picture nominated movies from the 70s and 80s when I've not even finished the 1930s.

#266, or #525, 1938's "Jezebel."

Not a title that inspires a great deal of enthusiasm, I must say.

reckon this is just prepping my patience for Gone with the Wind

#267, or #526, 2015's "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."

All I remember ever thinking about this one at the time is "what, another spy movie?" but now I also think "I can't remember if that's the guy who's a cannibal."

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

I don't trust this Henry Cavill character, he says "Nazi" weird

πŸ•΄οΈ "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." (2015) 

Don't think I've seen a car chase that synchronised before. *ticks the something-I-haven't-seen-before box*

@Alexis I haven't seen the sequel, but I thought the first one was deliberately vaguely 70s-80s-ish? Based mostly on the toys. Teddy Ruxpin was the big hit ~1985, and pretty much everything else was around in my childhood (before that). Also the styling of the cars.

@kurt We know where the Boss Baby stands on the most important issue of our time: Every idiot who gets hypnotised at the end had a smartphone.

@Alexis@beepboop.one Oh nice, this is one of the few since Phase 2 I'm actively looking forward to, specifically because of the casting being so tight

@purplemontart Yeah, it looks fresh in a way they haven't done since, like, 2017.

@Alexis@beepboop.one It's telling when one of the most exciting things about Spider-Man: No Way Home is a character or two from a different Spider-Man film from 2004

@purplemontart Post-trailer, I'm pretty hype for "Doc Strange just passionately not giving a shiiiiiit," but that's still hype about a guy from a different picture!

@Alexis@beepboop.one I think it's different with Doctor Strange because like, sure he's been in other stuff but it's being drip fed, right, he's not been the dedicated character in a while and he's becoming like the Hulk where he's there to spice stuff up

Also I fucking loved the "That feels weird but I'll allow it" and I can't explain why, along with his fucking getup + cloak

@Alexis@beepboop.one But yeah if it were like "oh it's Iron Man he's had eighty of his own movies" but the ones that have had ONE movie, I like when they show up, there's still loads to learn since we can't really learn a lot at once

@Alexis I really wish that, when I read the words "hav[e] a bad time" that the first few notes of Megalovania didn't play in my head automatically.

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πŸ’ "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" (2003) 

@Alexis That's kind of how I felt about the book, too.

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