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#216, or #475 since I started counting, today's "Fear Street, Part 3: 1666."

let's bury this witch's hand

#217 or #476 since I started counting, 1992's "Batman Returns."

Had no idea he was away.

#218, or #477 since I started counting, 1995's "Batman Forever."

Quite a step up from just returning.

#219, or #478 since I started counting, 1997's "Batman and Robin."

It'll be... ice to have finally seen all of... freeze.

#220, or #479 since I started counting, 2004's "Catwoman," because then I think I'm complete for modern live-action Batman or Batman-adjacent movies?

#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

It continues to be Friday the 13th! And so does movie!

#244, or #503 since I started counting, straight on to 1982's "Friday the 13th Part III," also known as "Sunday the 15th."

#245, or #504 since I started counting, 1996's "The Rock," which does not have The Rock in it, but does have The Cage in it.

Let's fill in some Homestuck lore for myself with #246, or #505 since I started counting, 1997's "Con Air."

#247, or #506 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2020's "Druk," which in English is called "Another Round."

It's a movie about excessive alcohol consumption, which I don't typically care for, and I probably wouldn't just put it on at home without a reason? But if it's playing at the cinema...

#248, or #507 since I started counting, 1997's "Face/Off," in which Cage and Travolta... become deepfakes of each other? Something like that.

#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."

Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.


#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

Β· Β· 2 Β· 0 Β· 0

presumably this is a prequel to explain why everyone calls it "New Chicago" now

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

you know that clichΓ© of two cars at the stoplight, the drivers stare at each other, then when it's green they race each other

this dude just tried to do that with his wagon against a train and now he's having a lengthy death speech six minutes into the picture

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

because the horses pulled the wagon to pieces and then dragged him along, which is a bit like if one of the cars' engine decided to leave everything but the driver's seat behind

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937), fictional sexual assault 

so in what year do movies stop playing sexual assault for laughs [somebody hands me a sheet of paper] oh, i see, no plans to stop as of yet

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

I also wonder when movie musicals stop being strictly diegetic.

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

the lives and times of who cares, get to the disaster bit already

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

"--and you know the law, a wife can't testify against her husband!"

lord put a stick in this man, start the fire, and call him a marshmallow

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

mrs o'leary's cow chose violence that day

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

(in reality, Mrs O'Leary and her cow were exonerated of any guilt in the 1871 Great Chicago Fire in 1997, but tell that to 1937, I guess)

πŸ”₯ "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

an absolute flipping cacophony at the end, jeez louise

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

Hugh Jackman is a dude in a setting so aggressively noir the city sleeps through the daylight and yet he somehow doesn't figure out this dame spells trouble the moment she walks in. Ridiculous.

Four stars.

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

🐍 πŸ‘€ "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

oh, this changed direction

just giving the whole thing away less'n halfway through

🐍 πŸ‘€ "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

never trust a man who passionately defends the need for a fancy rocket system

🐍 πŸ‘€ "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

it's hard to tell which parts of these that are silly are Movie Nonsense and which parts are Just What The 90s Were Like

🐍 πŸ‘€ "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

that ending as it exists doesn't really connect the tropical storm story to the murder story, huh

but apparently there's an alternate ending that got cut, let's see if that works any better

🐍 πŸ‘€ "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

oh, yeah, totally understand why you'd cut that, it's too big

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

In this one he /starts/ with the sad present day seniors at the graveyard.

I've definitely seen this before in some school context, but I'll be fucked if I can remember why or when.

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

Tom Hanks works here, but like with Spielberg I find him frustrating at his most Patriotic.

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

because, to be clear, American patriotism is poison

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

oh, it's Faraday from LOST

...and Vin Diesel???

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

of course in the UK he's known as Vincent Petrol

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

you know, from the opening Normandy Beach sequence I was expecting something at least a little bit critical and much less blindly patriotic, not this The Good War bullshit

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998) 

me: it can't ALL be propaganda

movie: hold my flag

me: only if I can go get some matches

movie: do not hold my flag

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), maybe i'm talking outta my ass 

I've been vague, cuz this is a bit out of my lane and all, but I'm in 1998 with the list, so 9/11 is a shadow on the horizon, and it's hard not to think, what does a movie like this -- relatively uncritical, worshipping the hell of war as something Good and Glorious, WW2 as America's self-decided new genesis -- contribute to how America feels about the idea of war in late 2001? Nothing good.

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), maybe i'm talking outta my ass 

It's midnight, it's very possible I'm talkin' out the ass here.

πŸ–οΈ "Saving Private Ryan" (1998), maybe i'm talking outta my ass 

now i'm overthinking things and i'd hate to have a tongue down there

#259, or #518, kicking off M Night Shyamalan's wild 1999 with one he goes uncredited on but did contribute significantly to the script of, it's "She's All That."

I fucking hate this premise, but I think people like this movie? Cool cast, too.

oh this outdoor high school location is the outdoor location for Sunnydale High

No point going on about the premise, we all know it's nonsense, but then what else do I even talk about.

πŸ‘– "She's All That" (1998) 

"Sooner or later... it has to drop."


πŸ‘– "She's All That" (1998) 

"So, you wanna go to the beach?"

maybe in 2021 when we're Old-er

πŸ‘– "She's All That" (1998) 

There's good jokes in this, actually.

πŸ‘– "She's All That" (1998) 

Don't understand why everyone's always such a piece of shit in 90s American high school stories. Was there just something in the water? Is it MTV's fault?

πŸ‘– "She's All That" (1998) 

That was exactly charming enough to get away with being awful on paper.

If I recall correctly I described the first one as "a truly unhinged depiction of the human baby," it's #260, or #519, 2021's "The Boss Baby: Family Business."

A 40-year timeskip is pretty wild for a movie about babies.

@Alexis A film that is just Taylor Swift visiting private detectives telling them that clearly their client is trouble.

@kurt The central conflict of the picture is she can't seem to stop writing songs about these people.

@Alexis It's just a bunch of retired demons tending to their fields, planting carrots.

@Alexis damn. When I was in school I saw finding nemo

@The_T It probably would-a been in history class, mind, but this does seem awful brutal for when I reckon it would-a been, early high school.

@Alexis yeah, i can't think of anything like that from my high school...

ah wait no, in middle school an English teacher tried to show that one film version of Romeo and Juliet and tried to fast forward through the nudity but did a piss poor job of it.

@The_T World War 2 /is/ one part of history where Europe generally doesn't fuck around in teaching it, if I'm misremembering and we didn't watch this, we definitely had all this really brutal stuff described in detail, also.

@Alexis yeah, World War-related history was... always treated really lightly over here. How important America was to winning, bullshit like that.

@The_T Like I couldn't name more than one Minister-President from before I was born, but they made sure we knew war was hell.

@Alexis is this the one that's a retelling of a shakespeare play without ever acknowledging that

@monorail I think it's based on George Bernard Shaw's "Pygmalion" and "My Fair Lady," but probably.

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