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#212, or #471 since I started counting, 2002's "xXx," which, lemme tell ya, difficult to do a search for on pornography-riddled torrent sites. (But it was on Netflix, so.)

Leaving in a bit to go see #213, or #472 since I started counting, 2021's "Space Jam: A New Legacy," or, just Space Jam again but for the Peak Synergy age.

#214, or #473 since I started counting, 1961's "Yojimbo."

#215, or #474 since I started counting, 2005's "Zathura," which I understand to be Jumanji's space sibling.

#216, or #475 since I started counting, today's "Fear Street, Part 3: 1666."

let's bury this witch's hand

#217 or #476 since I started counting, 1992's "Batman Returns."

Had no idea he was away.

#218, or #477 since I started counting, 1995's "Batman Forever."

Quite a step up from just returning.

#219, or #478 since I started counting, 1997's "Batman and Robin."

It'll be... ice to have finally seen all of... freeze.

#220, or #479 since I started counting, 2004's "Catwoman," because then I think I'm complete for modern live-action Batman or Batman-adjacent movies?

#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

It continues to be Friday the 13th! And so does movie!

#244, or #503 since I started counting, straight on to 1982's "Friday the 13th Part III," also known as "Sunday the 15th."

#245, or #504 since I started counting, 1996's "The Rock," which does not have The Rock in it, but does have The Cage in it.

Let's fill in some Homestuck lore for myself with #246, or #505 since I started counting, 1997's "Con Air."

#247, or #506 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2020's "Druk," which in English is called "Another Round."

It's a movie about excessive alcohol consumption, which I don't typically care for, and I probably wouldn't just put it on at home without a reason? But if it's playing at the cinema...

#248, or #507 since I started counting, 1997's "Face/Off," in which Cage and Travolta... become deepfakes of each other? Something like that.

#249, or #508 since I started counting, 1997's "Amistrad," a... historical drama...?

It's a Spielberg one, he doesn't have a great hit rate with those, and I never hear anyone talk about this one.

#250! Or #509 since I started counting! Two hours and a bit from now, people can finally stop looking at me like I've just farted out a live chicken when I say I haven't seen -- 1988's "Die Hard."


Leaving in a bit to go see #251, or #510 since I started counting, 2020's "The Father."

I reckon Anthony Hopkins has now been old for so long he may have mastered the art of it.

#252, or #511, I was gonna watch all of M Night Shyamalan's movies, but I couldn't find a watchable copy of his first one, so I'm starting with his second one, 1998's "Wide Awake."

It's got a kid and Rosie O'Donnell on the poster on Letterboxd, so odds that this is watchable are, I dunno. I wouldn't take the bet, I don't think.

👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

"...Do you mean the Bible's wrong?"

hot dawg this is a LOT heavier than I expected

👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

"If there was no school, there'd be no rules to break!"

upsides and downsides

👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

"Are you the mascot or somethin'?"
"No... I tried out, but your mom got the job first."


👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

me: this looks like harmless fluff

M Night Shyamalan: hold my child-sized existential crisis

👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

me: what do I have lined up that's, like, the opposite of "The Father"

M Night Shyamalan: THIS grandpa DIES

👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

fuckin' ghosts over here

#253, or #512, let's see what Cage is up to, it's 1998's "City of Angels."

Oh, he's a guardian angel of some sort. All due respect to Cage, he's low on my list of people I'd want ghost-loitering around my life.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

This is a very low-energy Cage, not super here for it.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

Which isn't to say I'm just here for Freakout Cage, though that /is/ him at his funnest, but there's a bunch of Cage roles you can't imagine anyone doing better, but this one, you could swap him out for literally any lanky white man.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

"Vampire's Kiss" is completely forgettable if it's not Cage, he fucking nails it in "Con Air," but there's nothing here any decent actor couldn't do just fine. You put a Keanu Reeves in here, same movie.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

They're in the park, she asks him a bunch of questions about who and what he is, there's an odd interaction about how he dresses, and then they kiss, such a ripoff of the 1996 "Doctor Who" TV movie.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

..."Seth Plate"? Come on, man.

👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

Okay, now that he's human, totally understand why you'd get Cage for this.

#254, or #513, it's 1998's "Following" because I guess I've seen all but three Christopher Nolan movies.

What he made before this just Isn't Online, which, you know, I can respect that.

well this sure is the exact kind of thing a slightly too up-himself 27-year old Londoner fresh out of film school would make with three grand and a bunch of friends in 1997

#255, or #514, it's back to the other list with 1937 Best Picture nominee, "In Old Chicago," which I think is another one about a disaster?

presumably this is a prequel to explain why everyone calls it "New Chicago" now

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

you know that cliché of two cars at the stoplight, the drivers stare at each other, then when it's green they race each other

this dude just tried to do that with his wagon against a train and now he's having a lengthy death speech six minutes into the picture

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

because the horses pulled the wagon to pieces and then dragged him along, which is a bit like if one of the cars' engine decided to leave everything but the driver's seat behind

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937), fictional sexual assault 

so in what year do movies stop playing sexual assault for laughs [somebody hands me a sheet of paper] oh, i see, no plans to stop as of yet

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

I also wonder when movie musicals stop being strictly diegetic.

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

the lives and times of who cares, get to the disaster bit already

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

"--and you know the law, a wife can't testify against her husband!"

lord put a stick in this man, start the fire, and call him a marshmallow

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

mrs o'leary's cow chose violence that day

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

(in reality, Mrs O'Leary and her cow were exonerated of any guilt in the 1871 Great Chicago Fire in 1997, but tell that to 1937, I guess)

🔥 "In Old Chicago" (1937) 

an absolute flipping cacophony at the end, jeez louise

Leaving now to go see #256, or #515, Hugh Jackman sci-fi noir thing "Reminiscence."

Hugh Jackman is a dude in a setting so aggressively noir the city sleeps through the daylight and yet he somehow doesn't figure out this dame spells trouble the moment she walks in. Ridiculous.

Four stars.

#257, or #516, it's Cage time again, in 1998's "Snake Eyes."

this guy is a lot

the opposite of City of Angels Cage

🐍 👀 "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

oh, this changed direction

just giving the whole thing away less'n halfway through

🐍 👀 "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

never trust a man who passionately defends the need for a fancy rocket system

🐍 👀 "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

it's hard to tell which parts of these that are silly are Movie Nonsense and which parts are Just What The 90s Were Like

🐍 👀 "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

that ending as it exists doesn't really connect the tropical storm story to the murder story, huh

but apparently there's an alternate ending that got cut, let's see if that works any better

🐍 👀 "Snake Eyes" (1998) 

oh, yeah, totally understand why you'd cut that, it's too big

#258, or #517, Spielberg is at it again with 3-hour long 1998 motion picture "Saving Private Ryan."

In this one he /starts/ with the sad present day seniors at the graveyard.

I've definitely seen this before in some school context, but I'll be fucked if I can remember why or when.

re: 👀 "Wide Awake" (1998) 

@Alexis that's true, abolish cops

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@Alexis I feel like Keanu Reeves and Nic Cage are close to the same person. They will appear in literally anything just because someone wants them to be.

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@The_T They're absolutely both up for anything, but I think the main difference is Keanu Reeves gets to be pickier because he doesn't owe the IRS several million dollars.

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@Alexis counterpoint: Keanu was in Cyberpunk 2099.

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@The_T It sure seemed like a cool job until anyone saw literally any of the actual game.

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@The_T Though even when that first trailer came out, I considered who was making it and had my suspicions.

re: 👼 "City of Angels" (1998) 

@Alexis I always felt a little vindicated because I always felt CD projekt games were bad, but I recognize how I was not in the majority. And I don't think "I told you so" about games I said were bad but sold well is a meaningful argument

@Alexis Ooh, that's the one that's kind of based on Wings of Desire which is a German film but it does have Peter Falk in it playing Peter Falk in an interesting way.

@kurt I was just reading about that. I dunno that this premise interests me for a second movie, but the Peter Falk part...

@Alexis A film that is just Taylor Swift visiting private detectives telling them that clearly their client is trouble.

@kurt The central conflict of the picture is she can't seem to stop writing songs about these people.

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