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Once again, I return! #202, or #461 since I started counting, leaving in a bit to go see 2021's "Black Widow."

#203, or #462 since I started counting, 2010's "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time," because I'll watch Jake Gyllenhaal pretend to be a video game, sure, why not.

#204, or #463 since I started counting, 2015's "Queen of Earth," which I'm pretty sure is one of those where Elisabeth Moss does the Elisabeth Moss Stress thing, you know what I mean, don't pretend you don't know what I mean.

#205, or #464 since I started counting, 1993's "Red Rock West," which:
* has Cage in it.
* looks from the poster like it's a modern-day western?
* is otherwise a mystery to me.

Need to not drown in the news for a bit, so I'm gonna watch today's "Fear Street, Part Two: 1978" on the TV. (#206, or #464.)

#207, or #465 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominated RKO feature "Stage Door."

I was gonna do "Schindler's List" for S but that's not a mid-afternoon movie, is it.

#208, or #466 since I started counting, 2021's "The Tomorrow War," which looks Extremely Bad.

What I had lined up is about bullying and, nah, movie, read the room, so instead, #209, or #466 since I started counting, 2009's "Up in the Air," which I've seen before, but I love an airport movie.

#210, or #469 since I started counting, 1932's "Vampyr." 🧛‍♀️

#211, or #470 since I started counting, 2021's "Werewolves Within," which opens with a bit of text presented like it's some intense Bible shit but it's a quote from flipping Fred Rogers.

#212, or #471 since I started counting, 2002's "xXx," which, lemme tell ya, difficult to do a search for on pornography-riddled torrent sites. (But it was on Netflix, so.)

Leaving in a bit to go see #213, or #472 since I started counting, 2021's "Space Jam: A New Legacy," or, just Space Jam again but for the Peak Synergy age.

#214, or #473 since I started counting, 1961's "Yojimbo."

#215, or #474 since I started counting, 2005's "Zathura," which I understand to be Jumanji's space sibling.

#216, or #475 since I started counting, today's "Fear Street, Part 3: 1666."

let's bury this witch's hand

#217 or #476 since I started counting, 1992's "Batman Returns."

Had no idea he was away.

#218, or #477 since I started counting, 1995's "Batman Forever."

Quite a step up from just returning.

#219, or #478 since I started counting, 1997's "Batman and Robin."

It'll be... ice to have finally seen all of... freeze.

#220, or #479 since I started counting, 2004's "Catwoman," because then I think I'm complete for modern live-action Batman or Batman-adjacent movies?

#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

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#500 since I started counting, or #241 this year, 2009's "(500) Days of Summer," because number.

Not entirely sure what it's about, but it looks like one of those romcoms certain kinds of people made their whole thing for a while.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

Oh, her name is Summer. So, not one about a magically enlengthened season of the year, or, like, they only see each other on 500 days over a bunch of summers.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009), dumb gender shit 

"There's only two kinds of people in the world. There's women. And there's men."

good to know if I think this is twee and sucks at least I don't exist in this world

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

"I love The Smiths."

oh this is /that/ movie

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

"Just cause some cute girl likes the same bizarro crap you do doesn't make her your soul mate, Tom."

it's good of this motion picture to have a child just say what i'm pretty sure is the moral of the story out loud at the start

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

they're in IKEA

can't relate

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

It's a very records-and-CDs thing, but "liking a moderately obscure band" really doesn't hold as much weight as this puts on it in, like. A post-Napster world.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

It's 2009, the iPod has been a thing for nearly a decade.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

this is like a period piece made by aliens from 3134 who somehow got all the props and sets perfectly right for 2009 but based their script on a teenager's livejournal where they took creative liberties with how they depict their life

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

the viewer can tell the relationship has gone downhill because we cut from Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel in the movie theatre watching "Vagiant" (half vampire, half giant) to Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the movie theatre by himself watching an inscrutable French art film

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

jeez,

JGL projects this whole imaginary-ass version of life onto her, it doesn't work, and then no growth, learns nothin', just kind of pissed off about it by the end of the movie

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

oh fuck off

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

"Nice to meet you. I'm Autumn."

oh FUCK OFF

It's Friday the 13th! And so is movie!

#242, or #501 since I started counting, 1980's "Friday the 13th."

I think this is the summer camp one? I'm pretty sure it's the summer camp one.

So this is set on "Friday the 13th, the Present," presumably June 13, 1980.

Can this serial killer only do serial kills /on/ Fridays the 13th?

(Don't tell me.)

In the 80s, kooky locals at diners and gas stations would tell you literally anywhere you might be goin' had a death curse on it.

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

The real villain of this motion picture is improper adherence to archery range safety procedures.

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

"Hey, wasn't that the road up to Camp Crystal Lake back there?"

oh she dead

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

you know, you don't imagine slasher serial killers having to drive to their slasher serial killer area

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

Does Murder-Man have a drivers' license? Did Murder-Man go to a dealer and fill out all the forms to buy a car?

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

"How do you call a snake?"

you don't call them, you send an SsssssssMSsssssss.

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

"This place is cursed! Cursed!"

you know if I didn't know there was a Murder-Man I'd reckon it was the locals doing the serial kills

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

man, these teens don't deserve this shit

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

I say "Murder-Man," so far it's more of an ungendered Murder-Camera.

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

the longer she spends barricading the door the more I'm wondering about other entrances

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

he's in the fridge-- nope, through the window

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

"Why, I'm Mrs Voorhees, an old friend of the Christys."

mrs who-now

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

"His name was Jason."

oh that guy

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

oh I see, I did a normative assumption

🔪 "Friday the 13th" (1980) 

momboss manslaughter massacre or whatever

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It's still Friday the 13th! And so is movie?

#243, or #502 since I started counting, 1981's "Friday the 13th Part 2," also known as "Saturday the 14th."

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis No, her name is a coincidence, it's actually a Song of Ice and Fire spin-off set during one of its variant-length summers.

Not to spoil anything but Summer kills Joseph Gorden Levitt. Ooh, wait.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@kurt "(500) Nights of Summer," the porno where they also fight zombies or whatever Song of Ice and Fire has, has unfortunately yet to make it out of development hell.

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis idk what this movie is but it sounds like it sucks real bad

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@The_T Yeah, it's not great!

I /can/ totally see why a certain kind of teenager who thinks they're unique for being the same kind of slightly quirky a third of all teenagers are gets totally into it in 2009, but in 2021, not great!

Probably not great in 2009, either, mind.

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis I mean based solely on that quote it sounds like it wants to shit on autistic people, but maybe I'm projecting

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@The_T Nah, nothing here is that thought-through, the central relationship is very clearly rooted in, "they both feel they should date because they both like The Smiths, even though that's a perfectly common band to like."

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis ah ok, liking a band is an absurd thing to call "bizarro crap", even the most obscure band is... still music

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@The_T It's a very records-and-CDs thing, but "liking a moderately obscure band" really doesn't hold as much weight as this puts on it in, like. A post-Napster world.

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis I could not imagine this attitude post 1999, none the less 2009.

*checks when Napster actually came out*

shit that's what you said nevermind

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@The_T I think the attitude starts dying when Napster becomes a thing and then by the time Questionable Content starts in 2003 it's already so played out it's probably just dead.

(QC was never as bad about the hipster thing as everyone made fun of, and it gives it up pretty quickly.)

re: ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis god I feel so old

genitals, ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis In the porno version "Vagiant" is a movie-in-a-movie about a giant vagina.

genitals, ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@kurt A giant *vampire* vagina.

genitals, ☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis That's just Teeth (2007)

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis For a given value of moderately obscure that basically translates as "not new", at that. The Smiths had top ten singles (assuming this is still about them) and their ex-members had ongoing solo careers, one of which was marked by headline-grabbing douchery.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@Alexis I'm pretty sure there's Ancient Greek Plays that did that, there's probably a name for it.

☀️ "(500) Days of Summer" (2009) 

@kurt Yeah, like some kind of chorus of Greeks in robes, announcing the themes and such of the play.

@Alexis 500 Days of (500) Days of Summer is my documentary about people who made it their whole thing for a while.

@kurt Shoot, that was gonna be the title of my podcast where I watch it every day for 500 days. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

@Alexis Well, most places did have a death curse on it, it's really Reagan's fault.

@Alexis If you put a death curse on a rich person's house they'll retaliate by putting death curses on the whole neighbourhood's houses. Trickle down deathonomics.

@kurt It was so much easier to get a death curse started in the 80s. Can't get the stuff for it anywhere, now.

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