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Leaving in a few minutes to go see #194, or #433 since I started counting, 2021's "Fast & Furious 9," or simply, "F9."

*vin diesel voice* the movies

#195, or #434 since I started counting, 2012's "John Carter." The Mars one.

#196, or #435 since I started counting, 2000's "The Kid," in which Bruce Willis hangs out with his own past self, and presumably learns how not to be the hard, soul-less asshat he's become, as you do.

I've done my alphabet watch of the day, let's do a Motion Picture Event watch, it's #197, or #456 since I started counting, 2021 Netflix slasher flick "Fear Street, Part One: 1994," which Netflix are releasing two sequels to in the next two weeks.

Gonna stop making myself angry for no reason and sit down and just kinda vibe watching 2021's "Luca," see y'all in like two hours. (#198, or #457 since I started counting.)

let's knock out another one, it's #199, or #458 since I started counting, 2019's "Marriage Story."

#200, or #459 since I started counting, 2021's "No Sudden Move."

Haven't seen that much Soderbergh but what I've seen has a good hit rate, let's have a go at this one.

#201, or #460 since I started counting, I've been neglecting my two lists in favour of the alphabet for too long, but here they overlap, it's 1937 Best Picture nominee "One Hundred Men and a Girl," which could definitely have had a different title.

Once again, I return! #202, or #461 since I started counting, leaving in a bit to go see 2021's "Black Widow."

#203, or #462 since I started counting, 2010's "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time," because I'll watch Jake Gyllenhaal pretend to be a video game, sure, why not.

#204, or #463 since I started counting, 2015's "Queen of Earth," which I'm pretty sure is one of those where Elisabeth Moss does the Elisabeth Moss Stress thing, you know what I mean, don't pretend you don't know what I mean.

#205, or #464 since I started counting, 1993's "Red Rock West," which:
* has Cage in it.
* looks from the poster like it's a modern-day western?
* is otherwise a mystery to me.

Need to not drown in the news for a bit, so I'm gonna watch today's "Fear Street, Part Two: 1978" on the TV. (#206, or #464.)

#207, or #465 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominated RKO feature "Stage Door."

I was gonna do "Schindler's List" for S but that's not a mid-afternoon movie, is it.

#208, or #466 since I started counting, 2021's "The Tomorrow War," which looks Extremely Bad.

What I had lined up is about bullying and, nah, movie, read the room, so instead, #209, or #466 since I started counting, 2009's "Up in the Air," which I've seen before, but I love an airport movie.

#210, or #469 since I started counting, 1932's "Vampyr." 🧛‍♀️

#211, or #470 since I started counting, 2021's "Werewolves Within," which opens with a bit of text presented like it's some intense Bible shit but it's a quote from flipping Fred Rogers.

#212, or #471 since I started counting, 2002's "xXx," which, lemme tell ya, difficult to do a search for on pornography-riddled torrent sites. (But it was on Netflix, so.)

Leaving in a bit to go see #213, or #472 since I started counting, 2021's "Space Jam: A New Legacy," or, just Space Jam again but for the Peak Synergy age.

#214, or #473 since I started counting, 1961's "Yojimbo."

#215, or #474 since I started counting, 2005's "Zathura," which I understand to be Jumanji's space sibling.

#216, or #475 since I started counting, today's "Fear Street, Part 3: 1666."

let's bury this witch's hand

#217 or #476 since I started counting, 1992's "Batman Returns."

Had no idea he was away.

#218, or #477 since I started counting, 1995's "Batman Forever."

Quite a step up from just returning.

#219, or #478 since I started counting, 1997's "Batman and Robin."

It'll be... ice to have finally seen all of... freeze.

#220, or #479 since I started counting, 2004's "Catwoman," because then I think I'm complete for modern live-action Batman or Batman-adjacent movies?

#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

#230, or #489 since I started counting, let's pick up where we left of with Mr Cage with 1994's "Guarding Tess," in which I understand Mr Cage plays a Secret Service agent tasked with protecting the American First Lady, who he finds exasperating.

#231, or #490 since I started counting, I watched 2021 HBO documentary "Woodstock '99: Peace, Love, and Rage."

the 90s, man. never again.

#232, or #491 since I started counting, 1993's "Schindler's List."

Follow

#233, or #492 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Harley Quinn 3: This One Has Peter Capaldi and King Shark In It," or, "The Suicide Squad."

#234, or #493 since I started counting, we all made fun of it when Disney+ first went live but I never actually went and saw it, it's 1967's "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin," which-- Hm, 1967, this is probably racist.

But what I was gonna watch didn't download, so!

And there's the Disney+ content warning and a note that it's been edited for content.

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

good jeez, if you're the lawyer reading the will, START with "he was broker than Christ at Christmas" instead of with the un-fulfillable fortune-bequeathings

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

this butler adventure comedy could learn something from "Ruggles of Red Gap," and I did not particularly care for "Ruggles of Red Gap."

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

this is better made and nowhere near as annoying, but it /is/ kind of... sleepy, which you couldn't say about "Ruggles of Red Gap."

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

this guy has a moustache with one end that points a little bit up and one end that doesn't

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967), brownface 

ah we've got to the brownface banditos, oy vey

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967), the racism of 60s hollywood 

And straight on to yellowface gold-panners in Yikestown, Yikesafornia.

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

In a lot of ways, exactly what I was expecting from the Disney+ thumbnail and cover image, and from the content warning.

The fun and energetic fight at the end makes up for the picture occasionally being a bit sleepy, but not for the unfortunate yellowface and brownface.

#235, or #494 since I started counting, it's Cage, in 1994's "It Could Happen To You."

Not got the faintest fart's whiff what it's about.

But Cage, playing a cop, has just picked up and thrown over his shoulder a blind fellow trying to cross the street, so I reckon, a comedy.

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

Cage has won the lottery and has not yet told his wife he committed to sharing an at-the-time-hypothetical jackpot with a random waitress.

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

this is tremendously charming

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

it should be universally illegal to publish a lottery winner's name without their specific consent

ain't nobody gotta know you won a penny

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

one of the best things in a movie is when somebody in a park loses control of the wheeled situation by which they're moving themselves around and ends up in a pond or lake

rollerskates this time

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

Rosie Perez and Stanley Tucci terrific at playing Wife of Cage, extremely annoying, and Ex of Waitress, huge douchebag, respectively. Hope they both die.

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

Wife of Cage just ridiculously evil now.

💳 "It Could Happen To You" (1994) 

Ah! So nice! What a nice movie!

#236, or #495 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Green Knight."

My brain is too on fire to come to anything more comprehensible than "hot diggity fuck," but hot diggity fuck.

#237, or #496 since I started counting, Cage, Jon Lovitz, and Dana Carvey are three (possibly bumbling) small-time criminals who just can't catch a break, in 1994's "Trapped in Paradise."

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

Lovitz and Carvey are in fact bumbling ones, real Wet Bandits, Cage is the stuck-up older brother trying to keep them in line on account of he's neither a criminal nor does he think of himself as small-time.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

Cage got dragged down so fast he's in the bank holding the shotgun like 15 minutes later.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

There's like a dozen customers in this bank on Christmas Eve, 1994 sure is a different country.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

They were robbing the bank, but the vault is locked and the banker who has the key is out to lunch at the diner across the road, they retrieve the banker and the key, but in the process also hold up the diner, ergo, naturally, they've now also brought into the bank a full diner's worth of additional hostages.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

It's like an adventure game puzzle.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

They're slowly realising they've bank robbered the kindest town on Earth because they keep hanging out with them.

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

mediocre but watchable

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

Enjoyed several of the individual scenes -- the bank/diner robbery, the town refusing to give them up at the end -- but it's a long walk from one good bit to the next.

#238, or #497 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Kiss of Death." This could be about literally anything.

DAVID CARUSO: "I could go back to jail just for talking to you."

easy teleport, very handy if it works both ways

this is set in New York but David Caruso of CSI Miami is in it so every time he goes from indoors to outdoors I briefly get very slightly confused

💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

Cage is here playing a junkyard thug with asthma, which is a very modern-day straight-to-video Cage, for 1995

💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

David Caruso isn't very believable as a street-level-- Oh, Stanley Tucci is here.

💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

This movie is on its second truck-related death.

💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

more like Truck of Death

💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

third death not strictly truck-related but does happen in the shop of the same yard the first truck was from

🚚 💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

Cage's character is called "Little Junior Brown" and his dad is called "Big Junior Brown."

🚚 💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

"Heard you lost your wife."

well near what truck did you last see her

🚚 💀💋 "Kiss of Death" (1995) 

I always like in movies when two agencies are running undercover ops on the same crime operation and forget to tell each other.

this was-- it's very rarely a bad time when Cage is on-screen, nobody's turning in a /bad/ performance, but is there any reason to watch this unless you're doing a thing? nah

#239, or #498 since I started counting, Cage in 1995's "Leaving Las Vegas," which looks: Like a bummer.

Can see why this won Cage his Oscar. Already very tired of it.

🎰 "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) 

Just miserable.

Which, I mean, is the premise, oui, just not the kind of mood I felt like being in.

🎰 "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) 

I guess maybe it's weird to go "oh I'm not enjoying this" about a movie based on the story of a real dude who really did have this miserable time.

🎰 "Leaving Las Vegas" (1995) 

You know, earlier I tried to put it down to, maybe I wasn't in the right mood, but what fucking mood am I ever in that a miserable movie about a man who drinks himself to death hits me right? Buh.

#240, or #499 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Free Guy."

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

@Alexis Definitely not to be trusted :meowthinksmart:

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967) 

@ak It's a comedy set during the 1848 California gold rush, I wouldn't trust a mop a background actor is holding.

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967), brownface 

@Alexis they sound like the kind of band you'd hear once, on the BBC Radio Suffolk local music show, and then never again

🤠 "The Adventures of Bullwhip Griffin" (1967), brownface 

@ak And/or a Little Britain spinoff you can't air reruns of in 2021.

@Alexis I saw the words "faintest fart" and my brain thought it was an intentionally alteration of "faint of heart" and now I really want to know where my brain was going with that

@The_T I was just being silly, but if you do figure out what linguistic accident your brain was running into, I'd love to know, also.

@Alexis a warrior so powerful, even her faintest fart was not for the faint of heart

:cage: "Trapped in Paradise" (1994) 

@Alexis That's what she said. *sigh*

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