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#183, or #422 since I started counting, I watched the incredibly gripping 2015 HBO sports documentary "7 Days in Hell," about a harrowing 7-day tennis match between two fellows who do somewhat resemble Andy Samberg and Kit Harington.

#184, or #423 since I started counting, 1993's "Amos & Andrew," for Cage.

I think this'll be the earliest Samuel L Jackson movie I've seen.

#185, or #424 since I started counting, because frankly, it IS weird that I haven't seen these, 1989's "Batman."

#186, or #425 since I started counting, 1995 horror movie "Casper."

#187, or #425 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee "Dead End." No idea what it's about, but Humphrey Bogart is in it, third in the opening credits.

#188, or #426 since I started counting, 2006's "Eight Below," which has Paul Walker in it, so I assume we're talking Fast and the Furious with sled dogs.

#189, or #427 since I started counting, 2015's "Focus," because you know what, Will Smith and Margot Robbie are both incredibly watchable.

Leaving now to go see #190, or #428 since I started counting, 2021 Guantanamo Boy movie "The Mauritanian," because Cumberbatch's American accent will surely be less annoying than the builders' noise down the road.

#191, or #429 since I started counting, 2010's "Gulliver's Travels," which may or may not be Jack Black's "Dolittle" (2020).

#192, or #431 since I started counting, 1989's "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids."

Leaving in a few minutes to go see #193, or #432 since I started counting, 2021 musical "In the Heights."

Don't actually know that much about this one beyond the absolute surface, but I'll go see a musical, who doesn't love a musical.

Leaving in a few minutes to go see #194, or #433 since I started counting, 2021's "Fast & Furious 9," or simply, "F9."

*vin diesel voice* the movies

#195, or #434 since I started counting, 2012's "John Carter." The Mars one.

#196, or #435 since I started counting, 2000's "The Kid," in which Bruce Willis hangs out with his own past self, and presumably learns how not to be the hard, soul-less asshat he's become, as you do.

I've done my alphabet watch of the day, let's do a Motion Picture Event watch, it's #197, or #456 since I started counting, 2021 Netflix slasher flick "Fear Street, Part One: 1994," which Netflix are releasing two sequels to in the next two weeks.

Gonna stop making myself angry for no reason and sit down and just kinda vibe watching 2021's "Luca," see y'all in like two hours. (#198, or #457 since I started counting.)

let's knock out another one, it's #199, or #458 since I started counting, 2019's "Marriage Story."

#200, or #459 since I started counting, 2021's "No Sudden Move."

Haven't seen that much Soderbergh but what I've seen has a good hit rate, let's have a go at this one.

#201, or #460 since I started counting, I've been neglecting my two lists in favour of the alphabet for too long, but here they overlap, it's 1937 Best Picture nominee "One Hundred Men and a Girl," which could definitely have had a different title.

Once again, I return! #202, or #461 since I started counting, leaving in a bit to go see 2021's "Black Widow."

#203, or #462 since I started counting, 2010's "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time," because I'll watch Jake Gyllenhaal pretend to be a video game, sure, why not.

#204, or #463 since I started counting, 2015's "Queen of Earth," which I'm pretty sure is one of those where Elisabeth Moss does the Elisabeth Moss Stress thing, you know what I mean, don't pretend you don't know what I mean.

#205, or #464 since I started counting, 1993's "Red Rock West," which:
* has Cage in it.
* looks from the poster like it's a modern-day western?
* is otherwise a mystery to me.

Need to not drown in the news for a bit, so I'm gonna watch today's "Fear Street, Part Two: 1978" on the TV. (#206, or #464.)

#207, or #465 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominated RKO feature "Stage Door."

I was gonna do "Schindler's List" for S but that's not a mid-afternoon movie, is it.

#208, or #466 since I started counting, 2021's "The Tomorrow War," which looks Extremely Bad.

What I had lined up is about bullying and, nah, movie, read the room, so instead, #209, or #466 since I started counting, 2009's "Up in the Air," which I've seen before, but I love an airport movie.

#210, or #469 since I started counting, 1932's "Vampyr." πŸ§›β€β™€οΈ

#211, or #470 since I started counting, 2021's "Werewolves Within," which opens with a bit of text presented like it's some intense Bible shit but it's a quote from flipping Fred Rogers.

#212, or #471 since I started counting, 2002's "xXx," which, lemme tell ya, difficult to do a search for on pornography-riddled torrent sites. (But it was on Netflix, so.)

Leaving in a bit to go see #213, or #472 since I started counting, 2021's "Space Jam: A New Legacy," or, just Space Jam again but for the Peak Synergy age.

#215, or #474 since I started counting, 2005's "Zathura," which I understand to be Jumanji's space sibling.

#216, or #475 since I started counting, today's "Fear Street, Part 3: 1666."

let's bury this witch's hand

#217 or #476 since I started counting, 1992's "Batman Returns."

Had no idea he was away.

#218, or #477 since I started counting, 1995's "Batman Forever."

Quite a step up from just returning.

#219, or #478 since I started counting, 1997's "Batman and Robin."

It'll be... ice to have finally seen all of... freeze.

#220, or #479 since I started counting, 2004's "Catwoman," because then I think I'm complete for modern live-action Batman or Batman-adjacent movies?

#221, or #480 since I started counting, 2005's "Elektra."

Probably should-a rewatched "Daredevil" first, but c'est la vie.

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#222, or #481 since I started counting, I've definitely seen the first one but I don't remember it at all, leaving now to go see 2021's "The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard."

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honestly, just nice to see a movie in a dark room with four dozen other people who laugh at all the jokes, you know? just a pleasant experience to have had another one of.

I also just like the Ryan Reynolds schtick, I probably would-a liked this at home, but, definitely enhanced by the audience.

#223, or #482 since I started counting, leaving now to go see 2021's "Old."

Never seen any M. Night Shyamalan before.

private resorts were a mistake.
beaches. a mistake.
the sea? don't get me started.

#224, or #483 since I started counting, it's back to Cage with 1993's "Deadfall," which apparently has a pretty wild Cage performance. (And that's sayin' something.)

I was just about to say I was getting bored, and there he is. Fake nose, bad wig, dodgy moustache, terrible accent, That's Cage, Alright.

It's possible the accent is because he can't breathe through the nose.

I could be making this one up completely and you'd have no way of knowing.

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993), drugs reference 

Impossible to tell if Cage's character being coked up out of his fucking gourd is him acting or not.

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993) 

This is pretty boring. (And I think Cage has exited again.)

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993) 

This is so desperate to be taken seriously as a noir story, but it doesn't have the gravitas, the weight. It can't pull the cart it's building. The 90s don't help, either.

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993) 

Cage is back, so I care again. Somebody with even faker facial hair than him is trying to kill him.

This town ain't big enough for the beard of them.

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993) 

oh it's a bad wig in-character

πŸ”« "Deadfall" (1993) 

now Charlie Sheen is here to play a different kind of slimy weasel

#225, or #484 since I started counting, 1937 Best Picture nominee, "The Awful Truth," which is definitely either a romcom or about a miserable divorce.

"Can't have a happy married life if you're always gonna be suspicious of each other."

sus wife, sus life

"I have never yet been in a scandal."
"Never been caught, huh."
"No-- Hm."

figured it out, it's a Comedy of the Screwed Ball

πŸ“š "The Awful Truth" (1937) 

might actually also be about Une Divorce, so I either knew and forgot I knew or I flipping nailed it

πŸ“š "The Awful Truth" (1937) 

It /is/ about Une Divorce, because these two idiots are calling each other's bluffs too hard

πŸ“š "The Awful Truth" (1937) 

a lotta long walks for relatively unassuming punchlines, maybe I put this on too late or maybe I'm just not clicking with it, hard to tell

πŸ“š "The Awful Truth" (1937) 

hm. yeah, I think I'm just in the wrong head for this one

no more Best Picture nominees until I've been to the dentist

#226, or #485 since I started counting, 2009's "Year One," because you can't tell me there's a movie where Jack Black and Michael Cera play cavemen and not expect me to call your bluff.

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

Jack Black has eaten the fruit from the tree you're not supposed to eat the fruit of, which seems historically inaccurate, has been called out for it, and is now talking to "the Shaman," (Bill Hader), whose face is largely covered in black makeup

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

"You're the genius who thought of drinking water from the gourd instead of just from the hand!"

i mean somebody had to be the first one to do it, might as well be, *squints at history book* Michael Cera

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

"He's a hunter, I'm a maker."
"A maker?"

the first new type of guy

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

"What're these big round things for?"
"They're wheels, numbskull. They make the cart go."

flipping wild
absolute science-fiction

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

"We're going to Sodom!"

i'm sure this'll be a tasteful section of this motion picture

🦴 "Year One" (2009) 

not quite the dregs but definitely from the sewer of 2009 Comedy For Dudes. dire.

laughed more than i'll admit in public, tho

#227, or #486 since I started counting, I got arrested and banned from IKEA for accidental shoplifting and then went to see 2021's "Jungle Cruise," which I enjoyed significantly more than the other thing.

🌴 "Jungle Cruise" (2021) 

There's a certain blandness to the Modern Disney Blockbuster that's as present here as you'd expect, not a sharp edge in sight -- unless you're particularly offended by the Disney brand of soft """wokeness""" --- but I'll generally enjoy a high-budget, competently-made adventure picture.

A fellow made of snakes? Puns? An evil German prince who gets directions from bees? Easy sell. I'm here for it.

🌴 "Jungle Cruise" (2021) 

That, again, heavy airquotes, it's not a word I use, """wokeness,""" is frustrating, though, -- and you know this -- because it's two-sided. On the one hand, it's swell, genuinely, sincerely, that the world has come to a point where that stuff is worth more to include than not.

Disney doesn't make the decision to do that in most of their movies if it doesn't consider it the more profitable option, and that's nice.

🌴 "Jungle Cruise" (2021) 

But how is this where the mainstream is at in 2021? At "women can be people, too" and a fancy gay lad who faints and wets himself?

🌴 "Jungle Cruise" (2021) 

Oh well. I enjoyed the puns. There's a fun tiger.

🌴 "Jungle Cruise" (2021) 

i have a drum problem, i keep trying to harp on it

#228, or #487 since I started counting, leaving now to go see "Luizenmoeder: De film," because I've watched and liked exactly two Dutch sitcoms this millennium, so, you know, one does a movie, I go see the movie.

Incredibly of its time, in that you can literally point to a few weeks early this year where it's set, has loads to say about the cruel world we live in and how we might go forward from here, incredibly life-affirming and beautiful.

At one point a fascist gets punched, and then it ends with a beautiful lesbian wedding, what more could you want.

*turns review voice off* god i don't think i've ever cried that hard at a movie wedding, god, i loved it, more like this, please, more, more

#229, or #488 since I started counting, 1989's "Turner & Hooch."

Hanks at this age is a hard sell as a cop you're meant to take remotely seriously.

@Alexis wait, you're actually banned for a year?

@The_T If I set foot in an IKEA between now and 3pm on July 28, 2022 (and camera face-recognition or employees detect me) I will once again be arrested.

@Alexis that's really stupid, and would be reason enough for me to never shop at ikea again

actually wait, this shitty table I'm using right now, which I'm going to throw away when I move, is reason enough for me not to shop at ikea again

@The_T Eh, from the store's point of view, we did complete a transaction without scanning and paying for certain items, and our story of, "we were in the middle of noticing and would-a just gone back to scan and pay" is hard to prove.

@Alexis nope, fuck security theater. I will not tolerate that capitalist bullshit.

@kurt (This makes more sense.)

I mean, I could literally tell all the English-speakers this has dragons in it and they'd have no way of even knowing it's a movie about elementary school teachers.

@Alexis "Luizen are tiny Dutch dragons from folk tales, kabouters ride them."

@kurt "Well, in the first few episodes, yes," I clarify, as I see them type "luizen" into Google Translate, "but in this one the luizen strike back."

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