I feel like the original Sleeping Beauty probably did not have any big Lord of the Rings-style battlefield scenes in it.

is Maleficent's turn to evil here just fucking Kylo Ren's origin story again

good guy tries to kill you, now you have to go poison a princess about it, you know how it goes

"It's a girl! It's a girl!"

assigned poisoning victim at birth

i keep calling it a poisoning, but it's not, it's a curse with an eventual effect similar to a poisoning

nice baby you've got there, be a shame if something... happened to her on her 16th birthday specifically for some reason

It All Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time. --Maleficent

I get that it's the power of the curse drawing her to it, but the room full of spinning wheels is a /bit/ goofy.

"She's only sleeping."

i mEAN,,

"Kiss her!"

yeah that's not gonna work tho is it

"You didn't do it properly!"

they met like once, y'all

True Love's Kiss is gonna be Maleficent, having come to Give A Shit About Her, kissing her on the forehead or something

this is much nicer than "a boy she barely knows has to make out with her while she's comatose"

this king can go the fuck to heck

'tis what it is, as a live-action Disney remake/reimagining, but it genuinely does a, like, decent job updating it for the 21st century?

That Was Okay

"Who puts mayo on a hot dog?"

absolutely demonic

This is an absolute checklist of a movie, so much it does because it Has To Get It Done, but also, in huge ways not at all what I was expecting walking in.

Bringing in a second, fresher Thanos, for one thing. I can totally see how you get there, but weird thing to do, lads.

"Let's go get this son of a bitch."

the first twenty minutes of this motion picture are the actual conclusion to the last one

"What did you do?"
"I went for the head."

*sighs in confirmed gay character*

just insulting

"Kid! Hey, kid! What the hell happened here?"

why it's christmas morning sir

everyone after Infinity War: where the fuck was Hawkeye

everyone during Endgame: why the fuck is Hawkeye

I like how they've developed Banner in these in ways-- I feel like you couldn't-a got to this point if he'd had two or three solo films in the middle somewhere.

"We're talking about time travel here, either it's all a joke or none of it is!"

"Turns out resentment is corrosive."

this is why I only have one long-term grudge and limit myself to only one or two short-term grudges at any one time

I like all the bits where they hang around and goof off, but "Thor yells at NoobMaster69 on Fortnite" is maybe a step too far.

i mean, Clint, what the fuck

absolutely no dealing with the fact that she found Clint mid-mass homicide

"If you pick the right year, there are three Stones in New York."

this is the kind of save-the-universe plan you only get in a franchise that is nowhere near as meticulously planned out as people think

see that's how you do Cap saying "hail hydra"

I think this bit, where the 2019 film "Avengers: Endgame" has a series of violent arguments with the 2012 film "The Avengers" is probably my favourite bit of MCU?

"That /is/ America's ass."

#59, or #297 since I started counting, 2016's "Army of One," because I'm always up for Nic Cage and Friz made it sound interestingly weird:

🔗 https://twitter.com/FrizFrizzle/status/1363231127394267136

I assume this is Don Quixote by way of post-9/11 America.

"Clinically speaking, he's as sane as you or me."

oh my god

Cage fucking /disappears/ into this role.

"Not knowing how to sail turned out to be a bigger liability than I initially thought."

lmao

This is incredible.

"Don't you think I look a little like Nic Cage in Con Air?"

i dunno, a bit, maybe

A... difficult portrait of a certain kind of... American xenophobic foolishness at its most deluded, but also, terrific comedic work by Nic Cage. Genuinely very good.

#60, or #298 since I started counting, "Spider-Man: Far From Home," or "The One Where Spider-Man Has Access to An Arsenal of Military-Grade Weapons for Some Reason."

(I mean, I like this one, but.)

Playing the Blip for laughs is the right call for /this one/, but I really hope we get another couple different angles on it from the next few movies and shows.

Americans seem to find the idea of Europe very exciting primarily on the basis of it being on the other side of a large body of water.

weird that it's been nearly two years since this one and it's still the most recent one when they were just ramping up to three a year

and then in 2021 it's just, I don't think we go four weeks in a row without /something/ new

that break is also why it feels like they've been poking at the multiverse for ages when it's really only been one (1) film and one (1) tv show

(and also Agents of SHIELD goofed around with it, but, I mean, that's Agents of SHIELD)

Agents of SHIELD also tried to make the Inhumans happen, which went, you know, famously well

the class trip stuff is so delightful

the MCU's relationship to the multiverse so far is:

* a weirdo lied about it

@Alexis is she cursed to be trapped in a room of spinning wheels,,,,

@a_breakin_glass she's cursed to prick herself on one (1) spinning wheel on the day she turns 16 and then, totally coincidentally, happens to come across the room where the king kept all (all) the spinning wheels that were destroyed to prevent the curse coming true

never heard of recycling, I guess

@Alexis @a_breakin_glass I love this movie so goddamn much. Sharlto is good in anything.

@Alexis assigned cursed at birth

@a_breakin_glass relatable

@Alexis I hold a faint hope his spinoff series will address his murderous-vigilante phase.

But only faint.

@naga I'm not holding out hope for anything more than a line or two.