, 2021 edition!

In 2020 I watched 101 movies from very early into first lockdown until August 11, and the another 138 between then and last night.

I did not do a formal thread for the first 101, but I did do one for the next 138: beepboop.one/@Alexis/104677806

Today's movie, #1 of 2021, or #240 since I started counting, 1995's "Johnny Mnemonic," because I think I saw someone say it's set in 2021? A topical affair!

Movie #2, 2002's "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," because exasperated sigh.

Movie #3, 1933 Best Picture nominee "Lady for a Day."

I thiiiink this one is about a homeless woman who gets to be posh for a day? We'll, uhhh, see how that goes.

Movie #4, 2020's "Let Them All Talk," which I understand is about Meryl Streep as a snooty Author going to America on the RMS Queen Mary 2. In 2019, obviously.

Movie #5, the 1933 "Little Women."

I've seen the 2019 one -- these women had better be the absolute goddamn tiniest women you ever did see.

Movie #6, 1934 Best Picture nominee "It Happened One Night."

I'm pretty sure this is the one romcoms, like. Come from. This is The Romcom.

Movie #7, 1934 Best Picture nominee, "The House of Rothschild," which, sigh, I imagine is about the family of European bankers, because what other Rothschilds are there.

's got Boris Karloff in it, I guess.

Movie #8, 2008's "Star Wars: The Clone Wars." Extended cut again.

#9, "We Bought a Zoo," because I've been making fun of the title for nearly a full decade and it's on Disney+.

Movie #10, or #250 since I started counting, 2006's "The Prestige," or "Batman v. Wolverine: What if Stage Magic But Too Much."


Movie #11, 2011's "Zookeeper."

I do not know what this one is or is about.

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πŸ¦” "Zookeeper" (2011) 

both the girl he proposed to and his brother have implied to Kevin James that being a zookeeper is kind of a rubbish job, ?????

it's not like he's a mall cop????

πŸ¦” "Zookeeper" (2011) 

oh the animals can TALK, i see

it's THAT kind of hour and a half

πŸ¦” "Zookeeper" (2011) 

the animals are teaming up to help Kevin James sort out his love life???

πŸ¦” "Zookeeper" (2011) 

the animal gags are solid, but the romcom stuff ends up very pick-up artist-y, yuck

Movie #12, 2017's "The Zookeeper's Wife."

I also don't know what this one is about, but from the Netflix thumbnail it looks like a WW2 movie.

(I think that's a reverse blarting.)

hm i already do not think i am on the same wavelength as this motion picture

A real arc here, tho.

"We Bought a Zoo": They buy a zoo.

"Zookeeper": They run a zoo.

"The Zookeeper's Wife": Zoo destroyed by the Nazis.

In which Alex explains the joke. 

these are otherwise unrelated movies that I'm pretending connect in any way

Movie #13, we move on from zoos to the jungle, where the animals are keeping a small human? Absolute madness.

It's 2016's live-action "The Jungle Book."

Expectations in the absolute shitter for this one, though I liked the Aladdin remake.

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

this jungle must be where the talking animals from "Zookeeper" (2011) are from

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

in this one they team up to fight the Tiger King

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

"The rhinos sleep standing up. I don't think I'd be very good at that."

trying to sleep standing up would just turn into a lot of waking up falling

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

There are definitely movies Scarlett Johansson is good in -- there /are/ -- but somehow I've watched three in the past four days where she's utterly forgettable.

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

oh, I thought this one Wasn't A Musical, but they do have "The Bare Necessities" in here

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

you know, these Disney live-action (slash photoreal animated) remakes, they're more like theme park rides than like-- well, i don't wanna say "they're not movies," they are, obviously, but what I mean is,

they're very Loud, there's a lot of Stuff Happening, and I'm not convinced they translate well to home viewing

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

I'm not, honestly, really getting much outta this one

the kid is funny when he gets the chance, the voice cast is mostly somewhere between Fine and Good, but the animation -- a problem with these basically by definition -- is a bit lifeless, and if I put on the original, it would beat this one in every way

but, like, I can imagine it would have worked on me if I'd seen it in the cinema?

🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

it's also weirdly adherent to the original in its presentation? the Disney card at the start, the physical book at the end, having some of the songs, while on the actual inside of the film, it wants so desperately not be thought of as a cartoon

@The_T @Alexis Hey, I never blarted you. On an unrelated note, you should watch The Dilemma and not look anything up about it, it's a very interesting movie about a complicated ethical dilemma, trust me.

@Alexis I thought you knew the movie was a blart. It seemed the least appealing one on the list, but I didn't make the rules of my made up list.

@kurt There were two ones called "Zookeeper," and the only one of them I looked at at all had Sam Neill in it, and I couldn't find that one!

(but also, I maintain my secret hot take that Sandler and Kevin James might rule?)

@Alexis I read this at first as Zoolander, then I looked more closely and I was like ..... β€œwhat?”

@verity Or, thought of a better joke, they team up to fight Tiger King.

@Alexis oh yeah that's a 2020 mood (at least it was for that month)

re: In which Alex explains the joke. 

@Alexis Reminds me of the short story "TlΓΆn, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius" where the people of TlΓΆn believe all books are written by the same author and try to psychoanalyze that writer by comparing two seemingly unrelated books.

@InspectorCaracal the good news is that's a good idea for the next movie, the bad news is it's gonna be the live-action one

re: 🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

@Alexis name one

re: 🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

@The_T I mean. Lost in Translation.

re: 🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

@Alexis haven't seen it

I guess my feelings about her in basically every role I see her in is "someone else could have played that role better"

and I also mostly just mean Black Widow.

well, and that one other role

re: 🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

@The_T She's never /bad/ as Black Widow, and I think by Endgame she's actually pretty solid at, like, her version of that character.

But yeah, all three movies I've seen her in these past four days, very generic performances. There are definitely funnier or more dramatic actors who could get more out of the same material.

(She's also pretty good in Jojo Rabbit, though I wish she wasn't doing an accent there.)

re: 🐺 "The Jungle Book" (2016) 

@Alexis I should get around to seeing Endgame...

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