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, 2021 edition!

In 2020 I watched 101 movies from very early into first lockdown until August 11, and the another 138 between then and last night.

I did not do a formal thread for the first 101, but I did do one for the next 138: beepboop.one/@Alexis/104677806

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Today's movie, #1 of 2021, or #240 since I started counting, 1995's "Johnny Mnemonic," because I think I saw someone say it's set in 2021? A topical affair!

* "Second decade of the 21st century." Nailed it.
* "Corporations rule." Would've put it differently, but sure.
* "The world is threatened by a new plague." Shit. Too topical.

"The most valuable information must sometimes be entrusted to mnemonic couriers, elite agents who smuggle data in wet-wired brain implants."

SO DUDES WHO REMEMBER SHIT, GOT IT

this is bill and ted keanu trying to be matrix keanu but not being there yet

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

Keanu has upgraded his brain storage to 160 whole gigabytes and I'm pretty sure that's meant to be... impressive?

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

oh these guys need him to take 320 gigs

i've got like twelve times that space just littered around my desk

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

keanu, try zipping it

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

keanu has to meditate to keep all 320 gigs in his 160 gig brain

does that work on a thumb drive

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

Ice-T is here, playing the role of "Ice-T wearing a cyberpunk costume."

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

"They don't just want the data, they want everything it's ever been stored in."

this is why you just buy a thumb drive and put it up your ass

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

the most intense googling i've ever seen

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

this isn't very good, but everyone's enthusiastically trying their damnedest

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

CYBER DOLPHIN

πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

a good dumb time

Movie #2, 2002's "Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones," because exasperated sigh.

Again an extended cut, with 12 minutes of deleted scenes added in, which I only downloaded because I found an extended Episode III by the same person that has all the Clone Wars episodes that happen at the same time edited in.

Except I'm not watching that one for ages, because, like I said, I'm watching along with Clone Wars podcast "A More Civilized Age."

still waiting for Disney+ to announce a Senator Binks show

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"I haven't seen her in ten years, master."

the older I get the more this Anakin makes my fucking skin crawl

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"I've thought about her every day since we parted, and... she's forgotten me completely."

oh my god go in the bin

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"She covered the cameras. I don't think she liked me watching her."

FAIR
REASONABLE
you creep

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

you know it's True Love when a dude you met when he was 9 is now just so desperate, so, so, so desperate to watch you sleep

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"You want to go home and rethink your life."
"I want to go home and rethink my life."

i'm sure Elan Sleazebaggano is a respectable member of society now

senator Sleazebaggano is out there somewhere

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

is "Elan Sleazebaggano" the worst George Lucas name?

peak Darth Stinky.

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"It makes me feel uncomfortable."
"Sorry, milady."

Anakin truly tips the fedora all over the place in this one.

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"You're exactly the way I remember you in my dreams."

GO IN THE BIN, SKYWALKER

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"I heard they even tried to amend the Constitution so you could stay in office."

this incel sounds very enthusiastic about the idea of changing the law for his friends' benefit

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"After all these years, we were beginning to think you weren't coming."

this is always a tremendous sign that things are going very well in your life and that nothing is about to go extremely off the rails

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"I don't like sand."

oh my god stop touching the senator

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

Obi-Wan here extremely Act Like You Belong-ing

"a clone army? yes, just like I totally knew about"

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"The trouble is that people don't always agree."
"Well, then they should be made to."

fascist alert fascist alert wee woo wee woo

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

they play it like Anakin's just a bit more passionate, rooted in naivety, than PadmΓ© is able to be, but, like, she's a former Queen and current Senator, these things should be red flags so big you could make a red hot air balloon with just one

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Movie #3, 1933 Best Picture nominee "Lady for a Day."

I thiiiink this one is about a homeless woman who gets to be posh for a day? We'll, uhhh, see how that goes.

πŸ‘΅ "Lady for a Day" (1933) 

"Dave the Dude wants to see you, Annie."

if anyone called Dave the Dude wanted to see me that would be a good sign it was probably time to skip town

πŸ‘΅ "Lady for a Day" (1933) 

oh, figured out the premise, an old woman who sells fruit on the streets of New York -- not homeless -- has been telling her daughter -- who has lived abroad all her life -- that she's a posh high society lady, and now, I assume, the daughter is coming to see her.

whoops.

πŸ‘΅ "Lady for a Day" (1933) 

"So, if my daughter comes here, all you've got to do is say I'm /dead/."

oh lord

πŸ‘΅ "Lady for a Day" (1933) 

"Heads."
"Tails. That makes /me/ the King of Siam!"

πŸ‘΅ "Lady for a Day" (1933) 

charming, even if it does sort of just run through all the notes you expect. best bit, watching Dave the Dude and his lowlives rehearse how to be high society folks

Movie #4, 2020's "Let Them All Talk," which I understand is about Meryl Streep as a snooty Author going to America on the RMS Queen Mary 2. In 2019, obviously.

re: πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

@Alexis smdh my 4 TB hard drive COULD be holding 5 TB, it's just not trying hard enough. lazy hard drive.

re: πŸ–₯️ "Johnny Mnemonic" (1995) 

@The_T it just needs to be talked into it by having the Yakuza beat it up

@Alexis I wonder if the movie would have been any better if they hadn't taken Molly Millions out of it.

It's like doing A Study in Scarlet without Sherlock Holmes.

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@Alexis i had to convince myself that he must just be constantly using force powers to make people like him, cos his personality and charm sure isn’t doing it.

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@zens I'm... pretty sure there's a scene coming up where he tells PadmΓ© he's not doing it to her, at least, probably because it /does/ flipping read that way

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@Alexis that’s like saying β€œi’m not a cop”

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@Alexis *American-Italian hands* He's a Sleazebaggano!

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@kurt you know how the Italians do, always selling those death sticks.

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

"Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones" (2002) 

@anke he's SUCH a creep

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