Today's film, #1, 1984's "The Terminator," because they're showing T2 at the movie theatre this week and it probably works better if I've seen T1 recently.

Today's film, #2, "Promare." No idea what this one's about but the animation looks cool.

Tonight's film, #3! 1991's "Terminator 2: Judgment Day"! In the movie theatre, so: I'll be back?

Tonight's film, #4! A friend on the other website is making me watch "Christine," which I understand to be "what if Duel but it's demons or some shit."

This kind of thing works better for me on the TV, so see y'all in two hours.

Today's film! #5, 1932 Best Picture nominee "Smilin' Through."

I've deffo looked at the Wikipedia page, but no idea what this one's about.


Movie #6! I watched spoopy zoom call horror movie "Host."

I don't watch a lotta these by pretty much any definition of "these," but, I dunno, at 56 minutes, pretty efficient use of all parts of the cliché buffalo.

Tonight's film, movie #7! Ripped from the headlines, it's 1932 Best Picture nominee "I Am A Fugitive From a Chain Gang."

...Finally, one I feel like I can safely assume is exactly what it says on the tin.

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

Not got a word to say about it, but this is pretty good.

(I think this is the earliest I've seen the pan-across-a-map for a travel montage, though I think that originates in serials, not here.)

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

this whole chain gang business seems absolutely wretched and inhumane, so good thing the US stopped doing it in the fifties-- reintroduced in some states in 1995? a thing today? what the fuck?

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

Nearly halfway through, and only now is the wrongfully convicted-for-robbery WW1 vet with PTSD actually making his escape from the chain gang.

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 


tv isn't a thing yet so the "emergency broadcast, watch out for this escaped convict" thing is delivered by a cop who happens to sit down in the same barber shop as him

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

I feel like in 1922 an escaped prisoner could probably just change their haircut and move to a new town and nobody would ever find them.

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

"They promised me a pardon if I came back for 90 days."


⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

"Jim, they refused to pardon you."


⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

this is honestly a good movie, which is still a rarity, 28 films into this

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

i understand that "maybe 5 of the 28 films i've seen of this list of over 500 films are actually good" makes keeping going the act of somewhat of a fool, and yet

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932), which of these are actually any good 

> "maybe 5 of these are good"

* All Quiet on the Western Front
* Skippy
* The Champ
* I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang

are the only ones I would sincerely recommend

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932), which of these are actually any good 

And "All Quiet" and "Fugitive" really only if you're into the kind of thing they are, which is, like, social commentary reacting to WW1

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

‪Anyway, prisons! Are fucked up!‬

Tonight's film, #8! 1932 Best Picture nominee "A Farewell to Arms."

* Probably another one about the War.
* Directed by Frank Borzage, whose previously nominated films sucked eggs.

god, ww1 soldiers, stop being horny

can the hays code kick in already

oh, this is 1932, Hays Code gets strictly enforced starting mid-'34

not long now

Hays Code sucks, obviously, but it's interesting history, and I'm curious if I'll be able to tell

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) is too horny 

it's all just

this movie has a scene where the main guy just touches and talks to a sex worker's bare feet for a while

her face is never seen, and a couple minutes later he confuses another pair of feet for hers -- the owner of those feet is the woman he's now having a big romance with

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) 

"how I met your mother? well, kids--"

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) 

not entirely sure how you make bombing a town look this boring, but by gum, they did it

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) 

film as a medium comes a long way from 1927 to 1932 -- genuinely, incredible progess, any film made in 1932 would have wowed a 1927 audience -- but Frank Borzage still can't make me give a shit

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) 

ironically, people who die young always take fucking ages to die in these movies

👋 🔫 "A Farewell to Arms" (1932) 

"Hard to believe I've been shot on my wedding day! Unlikely to make it to the wedding night! Quick, someone take notes!"

Movie #10: I think Tarantino probably sucks, but people won't shut up about him, so I'm heading out to go see the first half of Kill Bill in the cinema.

Movie #11: I've got 2019's "The Assistant" on -- trying to clear out some stuff from early in the pandemic.

God, what a relentless, crushing slog. Which I imagine is the point! As such, success? (Cripes, oh cripes.)

This isn't going to end with her burning down the building, but I sure wish it would!!

Movie #12: This spring's "Underwater," because I'll watch Kristen Stewart fight a Cthulhu, sure.

I wish this had more jokes, but if the TJ Miller character is any indication, perhaps this has Too Many Jokes already?

Kristen Stewart is terrific, obviously. The rest of the movie also exists.

Tonight's movie, #13, "An American Pickle."

Seth Rogen is watchable enough, and I love a pickle, I assume that averages out to something I'll enjoy.

That was pretty much what I expected. Watchable, funny enough. Good dual role editing.

Movie #14: 1973's "Live and Let Die." Third Bond in a row with a different face than the last one, let's see how this one does.

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

"voodoo, drugs, and pimpmobiles" is a very different tone than yer Doctors No, yer Goldfingers

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

This Bond in this setting is like if one of the Little Women walked into a Star War.

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

Must confess I've been nodding off a touch, but this is a terrific boat chase. (Into the pool! Through the wedding! Cutting off the cops!)

I've put on movie #15: 1974's "The Man with the Golden Gun," a film that sure appears to open with a Sir Christopher Lee third nipple reveal.

This one has a bunch of martial arts stuff in it for presumably the same reason the last one was blaxploitation-flavoured.

re: ⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) welcome to the united states where we have absolutely totally abolished slave labor yep that's a thing we did look it's right there in the history books

re: ⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

@InspectorCaracal "Yes, I got rid of my gun," says man planning to make trip to gun store to buy gun this very afternoon.

re: ⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

@InspectorCaracal siiiiiigh

re: ⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) more like "yes i've gotten rid of all my guns, where guns means rifles and i've still got a room full of revolvers"

⛓️ "I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang" (1932) 

@Alexis Then and now!

referencing a meme about a dumb show 

@Alexis is it bad that I just wanted to respond "funniest shit i've ever seen"

(I apologize if you don't know the meme)

referencing a meme about a dumb show 

@The_T and then he turns into a tired sigh

referencing a meme about a dumb show 

@Alexis idgi

@Alexis I don't think these are real movies. I think you're pulling an elaborate prank.

@kurt One where the girl from Twilight fights Cthulhu? Ridiculous.

@Alexis I buy that one more than Seth Rogen getting preserved in a vat of pickles.

@kurt This one does sound a lot like a fake trailer on SNL the week a superhero movie comes out.

@Alexis To be fair, fake snl trailer is a genre of movies that exists unfortunately.

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

@Alexis Stay away from Moonraker, then.

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

@adz hahaha, yeah, I bet the tension between tones there is, uhhh, outta this world.

🔫 "Live and Let Die" (1973) 

@Alexis Yes, "tones." Let's go with that...

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